Dumb criminals are everywhere. How did they get everywhere? Mostly by driving, and apparently mostly by driving cars they’ve stolen! As I noted a few weeks ago, as the cost of car parts rises, so do the number of vehicle thefts.
In Florida last week, three teens, two 17 and one 16, were apprehended after stealing a massive 46 vehicles over the course of a few weeks across three cities in the nation’s penis. They were finally caught after failing to steal a Jag SUV from someone’s garage while they were home. They quickly moved on to try to steal a Porsche Cayenne and BMW 5 series at two separate locations before fleeing police on foot, running, apparently, into the everglades, which seems like an invitation to be gator dinner. A police chopper found them and allowed officers to catch up on foot. Many of the nearly 50 cars they’re linked to have stolen were high end vehicles, so it seems they’re not without taste, just sense and good judgment.
A little further north in Hartford, Connecticut, 25 year-old Jonathan Rivera, who dutifully showed up for his court date to address charges of first-degree larceny and tampering with a motor vehicle. In laymen’s terms, he was arrested for stealing a car and was in court to face his crime. Unfortunately for Johnny here, police were wandering around the parking lot, scanning license plates and discovered that plates on one car came back as having been reported stolen. So police waited in the lot to see who came out to drive the vehicle away and guess who it was? Yes, dear Jonathan, who was arrested again for the same crime. Maybe he was counting on police figuring that nobody would be stupid enough to drive a stolen car to court. Well, police, Jonathan accepts your challenge.
Meanwhile back here in the Midwest, Detroit police are on the lookout for two white cargo vans that were stolen from a dry cleaner’s. Sitting in the parking lot of Perfect Cleaners, the vans were apparently too inviting for some crims to pass up. What they did choose to pass up though, were the contents of the vans, namely dozens of police and firefighter uniforms from Detroit municipalities. Authorities found the uniforms dumped elsewhere in the city. While I’m certain no surveillance footage of this exists, I just would’ve loved to see the expression on the face of the perps when they discovered that their super special score was actually one of the worst things they could be caught with, short of plutonium or a tiger.
Authored by
Devlin Riggs