Geneva Cars Coming Early
Honestly, I’m not sure why we have car shows anymore. I’ve talked a little about their obsolescence before, but it seems like automakers are starting to embrace it. The Geneva Motor Show is coming up next week, but we’ve pretty much already seen all the actually new cars we think are going to be announced there. And it’s not like they’re being leaked, either. The automakers themselves are blowing the lids on their new cars, sending information to the press without making a big splash at a show like they used to. So what do we know about already?
There’s a new BMW X4, which is great for fans of jacked up sedan/SUV bastardizations that are worse at everything than either of the vehicles combined to create them. And if you think the X6 is useless because it’s not as spacious as an SUV and lacks cargo, but the stilted ride height makes the car stiffer and handle worse, first of all, you’re right, second of all, the X4 is even worse because it’s like an even smaller, more useless X6.
We also got a refreshed Mercedes C-Class, which gets a slightly revised exterior and is infused with some self-driving technology from the E-Class. Unlike the BMW, this is a totally useful vehicle and will be enough car for virtually everyone, but since it’s a sedan, people won’t want anything to do with it.
Mercedes also unveiled an updated version of their Maybach S Class, which essentially takes a $150,000 top of the range car with the latest in every conceivable technology and increases the “fancy”, charging more than twice as much for it because rich people are rich and can afford it.
There were several other sort of minor announcements, but we’ll keep an eye on the show next week, maybe it’ll surprise us.
Chicago Auto Show
Speaking of surprises, the Chicago Auto Show was last week. And I don’t mean that in terms of like “there were a bunch of great surprising new cars unveiled in Chicago” but more as a “you probably didn’t hear about the Chicago Auto Show because nothing happened at it, so surprise to you that it has actually occurred.”
Really, we got some lifted Toyotas and Nissans, some faster versions of a Hyundai, a GMC and a Fiat, a Volkswagen we’ve already seen, a bunch of customized vehicles and a Nissan giveaway that looked like a breast implant. Swear to god. It’s apparently a hand warmer, but look at it. Tell me that’s not a boob.
Faraday Future Small SUV
Their FF91 still isn’t a real vehicle, but that doesn’t mean nothing’s going on at Faraday Future headquarters. They have actually been very busy, not on building a real car but in sketching another potentially real car. They released last week a sketch for a smaller SUV that could slot in below the FF91 which, of course, presumes the FF91 ever actually gets made. To me, Faraday Future is like when you see a dog using a pillow or sitting up in a chair and you’re like “aw, it thinks it’s people,” but in Faraday Future’s case it’s like “aw, it thinks it’s real.”
Toyota Supra
I normally try to steer clear of speculation, especially in the new car section because so much can change and so much rumor tends to be either wrong or underwhelming, but as a guy who grew up with a poster of a Toyota Supra on my wall, it’s hard for me to temper my own excitement about the forthcoming Supra. Toyota themselves released a teaser image of the rear end this week, which showed little except a big wing and a double bubble roof. Then that same day, scans of Japan’s Best Car magazine were posted on a forum which revealed some more details about the car set to debut in Geneva. The specs seem to indicate it’ll have 335 horsepower, be relatively lightweight and, somewhat incredibly, sprint to 60 miles per hour in less than 4 seconds. With just 335 horsepower!
I’ve seen the leaks posted on several sites and although the reaction has generally been split between domestic and foreign fanboys, there have been several comments I’ve seen bemoaning the fact that it doesn’t have more power and won’t challenge the Nissan GT-R for ultimate Japanese super car supremacy. And I think that’s actually part of the reason why I’m so excited about it! The original Supra cost about the equivalent of $45,000 in today’s money, which is less than half of what Nissan charges for the GT-R. With that amount of power and performance, I have to think Toyota is still aiming at the same sort of price range for the new Supra, which means, unlike the GT-R, it’s actually going to be a Japanese sports car people can sort of afford! The only things that really get me down on this car are the styling that we’ve seen so far and the engine. I don’t think it’s very attractive and the drive train is derived from BMW, which one might think is a good thing until you remember that German engineering is the greatest lie ever perpetuated in automotive history. BMWs are notoriously unreliable, especially the more modern ones, and reliability was part of what made the original Supra so great. You could drive it every day, experience the thrill of ownership and not have to worry about it breaking down. Unless Toyota has had a pretty thorough revision of BMW’s motor, I’m afraid we’re about to experience the most unreliable Toyota in history.
Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio
In other pre-production car news, Alfa Romeo stayed true to its Italian roots and left drivers of a nearly production-ready Stelvio Quadrifoglio stranded after the SUV broke down in the middle of Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles. Now, having lived in LA, I know that having a flashy car there is a high priority, and being able to park in high visibility areas to attract attention is usually pretty desirable, so I’m not completely ruling out the fact that this was an elaborate awareness building marketing campaign, but if it is, advertising the complete unreliability of your brand new cars seems like a really strange tactic. Then again, it could totally appeal to the vapid, flaky demographic of many Angelenos. There’s a reason I don’t live there anymore.
New Lancia Stratos
In case you weren’t alive in the 1970s, you may never have heard of the Lancia Stratos. Long story short, it’s an awesome little two door sports car with an engine in the middle that puts out a lot of power and was used extensively and successfully for rallying because of its short and wide wheelbase. Well, a small manufacturer is bringing the Stratos back with an updated look and updated technology. They’re only going to make 25 of them and they’ll cost $615,000 apiece. Oh, and you’ll need to provide a Ferrari F430 to the company because that’s the car on which they’ll base the new Stratos. So all in, you’re looking at close to $800,000 at a minimum for a 600 horsepower body-kitted Ferrari. Or you could spend half the amount on an original Lancia Stratos when they come on sale and get the real rally car. Or you could spend one tenth the cost and buy a new Supra and get to 60 in about 0.3 seconds slower.
Authored by
Devlin Riggs