How’s that Ramp Up Going, Elon?
If you’re hoping, as I do, that every time Elon Musk and Tesla revise their output schedules that this will surely be the time they get it figured out and it’ll be smooth sailing from here on out, you’re not going to enjoy this next story. Tesla had to completely shut down its Fremont, California manufacturing plant for a week last month to fix issues and bottlenecks related to the production of their Model 3 sedan. According to workers inside the factory, a staggering 40% of parts for vehicles were not suitable for use on cars, requiring extensive reworking or re-manufacturing, which are apparently different things. Reworking involves taking a new part and fixing it to be up to a certain standard, while re-manufacturing takes used parts and fixes them up to be new-looking again. Tesla insists they don’t put re-manufactured parts on cars, but if almost half of parts require reworking, and they’re still putting out cars with irregular panel gaps that command comparisons to 90's Kias, you can call it “re-wizarding,” but it’s still not a good thing.
Trump Strikes AGAIN
The President of the United States has a habit of weighing in on things in a…unique way, and last week, when discussing the Trans-Pacific Partnership and how horrible it is, cited a practice that is either so top secret that no auto industry professional in the world has ever heard of it, or is completely made up. Here are Trump’s exact comments: “It’s the bowling ball test. They take a bowling ball from 20 feet up in the air and drop it on the hood of the car. If the hood dents, the car doesn’t qualify. It’s horrible.” What!? What car could possibly pass this test!? After thoroughly baffling the automotive media for a while and offering no explanation for his comments, an astute reader of the Washington Post’s coverage of the story suggested in the comments that perhaps he was referring to a test where Japanese safety officials test pedestrian safety by shooting dummy heads at car hoods to determine how damaged a head might be if it made contact with a car. Perhaps someone explained this with a bowling ball analogy, which could account for some of the misunderstanding, but the part about a car failing if it dents is still completely out of left field. In any case, it’s a test Japan applies to all cars, not just imports to keep them out of the country, so to use it as a sort of argument against the Trans-Pacific Partnership was always a stretch but, when it comes to politics these days, sense and logic doesn’t really apply anymore anyway.
Green with Envy, Yellow with Value
When I chose the gorgeous Reflex Silver color for my GTI, resale value didn’t really factor into my decision; I just liked it more than all the other options available. But apparently people do choose white, silver and black because those sort of “neutral” colors are more universally liked and the theory goes makes your car more desirable secondhand. Well, turns out that’s bogus because a new study by used car search engine ISeeCars.com has revealed that the car color with the lowest depreciation rate was, in fact, yellow, depreciating an average of 27 percent in the first three years of ownership. Also above average were green and orange, going to show that safe colors really aren’t that safe. But that’s not to say all wild colors are helpful. Some of the worst performing colors were beige, gold and purple. The purple car that immediately jumps to mind is the Chrysler PT Cruiser, which immediately makes sense why it would be one of the worst cars for keeping its value.
Lamborghini Says, "Damn the Fuel Economy Standards!"
Speaking of yellow cars that don’t depreciate much, Lamborghini was in the news this week for comments made by the company’s chief technical officer, Maurizio Reggiani. He indicated that, while other companies like Ferrari are moving to a V-8 or V-6 turbo hybrid in their future cars, Lamborghini has no intention to stop making their V-10s like that which powers the Huracan today. I love this quote from him: “My question is, why do I need to do something different? If I trust in the naturally aspirated engine, why do I need to downgrade my power train to a V-8 or V-6? I am Lamborghini, I am the top of the pinnacle of the super sports car. I want to stay where I am.” You do you, Lamborghini, and we will love you always for it.
GM Wants to Rent Your Car
With the launch of its Maven service in several US Cities, General Motors joined the ranks of the ride-sharing businesses, but using new cars put into circulation by General Motors themselves. Starting this summer, GM will begin a pilot program, expanding vehicle availability to personal cars if owners are willing to put their vehicles up for rent. This equates to a sort of Air BnB on wheels, which actually already exists with services like Turo, which I did not previously know about. But this being a GM venture, it has some extra benefits, like Maven offering liability insurance for GM vehicle buyers who choose to take part in the plan. Given how people generally treat their rental cars, I can’t imagine there would be a whole lot of interest in pimping out your ride, but if you need some extra money, maybe it’ll catch on with the likes of people who see their cars as appliances.
Arlington 86s its Buses
In other ride sharing news, Arlington, Texas has done away with its public transportation, which apparently was lacking anyway. Instead of buses and routes, the city has launched Arlington Via, which features Mercedes-Benz Sprinter vans that can be hailed via an app or phone number and will come around and pick you up and take you to your destination. If this sounds a lot like Uber or Lyft, you’re totally right, except that it’s publicly subsidized, so trips are only $3 or you can buy a week pass for $10, which is crazy cheap! For about $40 a month, you can basically have your own driver that you occasionally have to share with other passengers. Mark my words, smart people will use and abuse the hell out of this system and it will be fantastic until the city realizes what a massive loss it is and discontinues it after its one year contract is up. I would absolutely be doing that if such a service were available here. It’s less than the monthly payment on any car! And you don’t have to drive in traffic!
Toyota Bolsters Avis’ Connected Fleet
Finally in rental car news, Toyota has signed a multi-year deal with Avis Budget Group that will supply 10,000 connected cars to Avis to “help streamline the customer rental experience.” It’ll basically help provide real-time location, odometer, fuel level and other information without the need for attendants to go check the cars manually, which would honestly be pretty handy if you’re running late for a flight and just needed your receipt so the accounting department doesn’t crucify you when you get back to work. It’s not very exciting and it seems like something that should’ve been accomplished years ago, but I guess we should just be happy with progress when we get it.
Buick’s Naming Crap Continues to Confound
Last you heard of Buick, they were prohibiting the use of the word wagon when mentioning their new Regal TourX, insisting it was a crossover. Well, starting next year, they will begin forcing drivers of all their new vehicles to insist that their car is indeed a Buick when asked by incredulous friends as happens all the time because their commercials are so reflective of real life. That’s because Buick is removing the “Buick” lettering from the back of its vehicles in the same way that BMW and Mercedes-Benz don’t actually say “BMW” and “Mercedes-Benz” on the back because people just know what the propeller circle and tri-star signify. Buick has the audacity to think that buyers most definitely know that the tri-shield badge means that a vehicle is the Buick. And while, sure, loyal listeners of my show may know that, I think it’s a bit presumptuous to suggest everyone does. But you know, good luck to Buick, who sold 4.5% fewer cars in America in 2017 than they did in 2016, which is also half the number of vehicles they sold in 2002. You’re probably doing just fine.
Elsa Lets the Boston Police Go
Video from Time
In South Boston this week, for the first time in, well, a week, the city got 16 inches of snow, which trapped a Boston Police van. Normally this type of story wouldn’t make the news, but the van was freed by none other than Elsa from Disney’s Frozen. A man dressed as the ice princess approached the beached van and asked the drivers if they wanted to build a snow ramp. She dutifully guided them as they rocked the van out of its spot and pushed until the vehicle was clear of the snow and then let it go. Turns out the cold never bothered her anyway. And that’s enough Frozen jokes.
New Cars
Baby Bronco and Mustang GT500
Ford made a big splash this week, announcing plans to refresh 75% of its lineup by 2020, which is good because, honestly, it needs the help. Where’s it making the biggest investment? Predictably, in vehicles that sell like hotcakes, namely SUVs, where the brand’s existing models are pretty long in the tooth. But we’re not just talking about the Escape, Edge and Explorer, all of which will get new versions, which include ST trim models that up the performance factor a bit. We already knew a new Bronco is coming and, although we haven’t seen it yet, Ford announced that they would have a smaller off-road-focused SUV that would be coming out to slot in below the revival of the bucking horse truck. We don’t really have any details on it, but the speculation is that it’ll give the Wrangler a run for its money in performance if maybe not in the customization sector. They also teased a photo of the new Shelby Mustang GT500, which can obviously only be a good thing. As we see automakers continue to churn out compact crossovers, it’s honestly great to see Ford say, “Yeah, but how about a Wrangler alternative and an even faster Mustang?” The market may not be demanding the most exciting vehicles, but at least automakers still have some people working there that want to inject the fun into cars to satisfy those of us in the so-called niche markets.
Audis for Everybody
If you like Audis, then screw the year of the truck, this is the year of the four rings for you. The company shared this week that they expect sales and deliveries of new cars to be pretty poor this year because they’re basically going to spend the entire next eight and a half months dropping new cars on us. They say there will be over 20 redesigned and new models launched this year, including the launch of several all electric models like the E-Tron crossover and E-Tron GT, a sedan. There will also be redesigned versions of most of the rest of Audi’s lineup, and the rate of unveiling means we’ll see a new car from them just about every three weeks, which is crazy ridiculous! But then again, when you think about Audi’s styling and realize they just stick an existing car in a copier and change the magnification level and hit “print,” maybe it’s not that outrageous to have so many cars coming out at once. Especially when Audi apparently achieved a billion Euro cost reduction last year by reducing research & development. Be prepared for a new generation of, “Oh, that’s a nice A-6. Er, A-4? Ach S-8!”
VW is S.O.L with New Names
Meanwhile at parent company Volkswagen, the Germans apparently had to come up with a new name for the electric vehicle brand they are preparing to launch in China with partner company JAC because they were not allowed to use the Chinese name for SEAT. Instead, they have chosen SOL, in all caps, which of course is Spanish for “sun,” conjuring images of a bright, shiny all electric future. Or, if you’re the type of person who uses acronyms, the capital letters S-O-L means “Shit Outta Luck,” which is just as well because the first car of the joint venture is a re-badged JAC vehicle that boosts just 114 horsepower and a top speed of 80 miles per hour. So, sorry, China, if you were hoping for a better electric vehicle to come from the partnership. I guess you’re, well, you know.
Lexus RC Black
It’s been at least a few weeks since our last black edition of any car, so we were about due for one. This time it’s Lexus, who is creating only 650 versions of their RC F Sport Black Line. The trick is, it’s not actually a trim available for the RC F. Just the RC 300 and 350. So not the V-8, just the V-6 and I-4 models, which, to me, causes it to lose a bit of the sinister element to it. What’s the Black Line version get you? More black. Just like in every black version of any car. Can this trend stop now?
Also from Lexus, they are launching the Sport Yacht concept, which is not a tongue-in-cheek concept car that plays on large sedans being referred to as land yachts. It is actually a yacht. It started as a fun concept from Toyota Marine Division, a 42-foot ship that features two Lexus 5-liter V-8 engines cranking out 885 horsepower and an almighty sound. The concept was never intended for production apparently, but after being handed the “Boat of the Year” award at the Japan International Boat Show, Toyota has had a sit down and think and decided that, yes, it would like to make more money from rich people and will actually build the boat and offer it for sale worldwide. Not just that, but they’re planning on a 65-foot version that can entertain up to 15 guests, because rich people love offering people a ride in their Lexus only to pull up in their Maserati and say, “Ha, silly, my Lexus is docked!”
Hyundai Kite Concept
Hyundai is also going nautical with their Kite concept, which debuted at the Geneva show two weeks ago but didn’t quite make it into my rap-up. It’s a sort of light weight dune buggy thing that was designed by 15 students as part of their Master in Transportation Design program at the Instituto Europeo di Design. The wild thing is, it can be transformed into a single seat jet ski, and who doesn’t want that! Granted, the utility of this thing is somewhat questionable. A dune buggy isn’t exactly practical for a daily commute and the number of times I have been flying over dunes only to arrive at a sudden ocean or lake and wished I could suddenly have a jet ski are relatively few. But you have to celebrate thinking outside the box, and this is most definitely that.
Honda Mean Mower Mk.2
Honda, it seems, is getting tired of being asked when they’re going to bring back the S2000 or some other affordable sports car now that their NSX has pushed decidedly upmarket. Instead of replying simply “never,” they’ve resorted to the tried and true internet tradition of trolling their fans. Instead of coming out with a fun sports car with 189 horsepower that will hit 134 miles per hour, Honda this week unveiled the Mean Mower Mk.2, a riding lawn mower with the engine from one of their 1,000 CC Fireblade motorbikes because why make a fun car when you can make a fun lawnmower instead? This isn’t the first time Honda has done this, having put a V-twin from a previous Fireblade into an older riding mower and achieving some impressive numbers. This second generation takes it up a notch, just as it takes up the trolling. Honda knows how to have fun. They’re just not going to go out of their way to help us have any. But hey, keep having your engineers work on pointless shit, Honda. And maybe give your designers the day off so we can have a Civic that doesn’t look like an origami spaceship.
Obituaries
Lincoln Continental
R.I.P
We heard some rumors last week that Ford is planning on canceling the Lincoln Continental after just one new generation of the car they allegedly spent $1 billion to resurrect, which seems like a ridiculous waste of money. That said, last year, they barely sold 12,000 examples, which pales in comparison to the 52,000 Mercedes-Benz E-classes or the nearly 41,000 BMW 5-Series cars of similar size and fanciness that were sold last year. When it debuted, the Continental was mocked for being a knock-off Bentley in its styling, but I guess not that many people are interested in driving Bentley knock-offs? This hasn’t been confirmed yet, but with sales that low and sales of sedans in general tanking like the Miami Marlins, it’s a safe bet that Ford might want to cut its losses.
Authored by
Devlin Riggs