Leafs Light Up Japan

One of the primary questions facing the electric vehicle industry is what happens to the lithium ion batteries after the vehicle has either crashed or it’s met the end of its useful life. Lithium Ion batteries are far more impressive than their Nickel-metal-hydride predecessors, but after 10,000 cycles or so, they will start to see some capacity loss due to general wear and tear. You’ll know from having a cell phone that batteries don’t last forever, but Nissan is preparing for the future by partnering with a company called 4R Energy Corporation. They are recycling used Nissan Leaf batteries in street lights, which utilize a combination of solar generation and storage (in the former Leaf battery cells) to provide illumination to roads not served by the electrical grid. They’re starting this program in Namie, Japan, which was hit hard by and is still recovering from the 2011 Tohoku earthquake. Pilots are under testing now and the company plans to install lights throughout the town later this year. One can see this being especially useful in other disaster zones like Puerto Rico after Maria, New York after Sandy or the city of New Orleans after a weekend night.

Lincoln Launches Subscription Service

If you’ve ever wanted to drive a used Lincoln, but the thought of owning one just put you off too much, there’s great news. The company is following in the footsteps of Volvo, Cadillac and Porsche and offering a subscription service. No, not for the new Continental or Navigator. For its used cars. That means you can pay just over $400 a month to drive New York’s finest fleet taxi vehicle, the MKX. If that price doesn’t sound appealing, consider that that price also pays for insurance, maintenance, warranty and the ability to swap into a slightly smaller but no more enjoyable MKC at any time. If it still doesn’t sound appealing, than consider yourself in the same boat as me.

California Self-Driving Registration Deadline Update

April 2nd was the first day self-driving cars could legally hit the roads in California. Being home to more than 50 companies testing autonomous systems, it was slated to be a truly historic day for the state. And then only one company applied for a permit. So on the first day, zero self-driving cars hit the road. The timing, perhaps, was not excellent, coming on the heels of Uber’s fatal wreck and a general cringing of other companies as they look to perfect technology before pushing it out to the public. Nevertheless, it’s a good sign that California is regulating it, and that companies were honest enough with their self-assessments that nobody is putting unsafe hardware out on the streets.

Thumbs Down to BMW

Thumbs are great – they’re one of the best things about being human and allow us to grab things and compete in sports like baseball and tennis without accidentally flinging rackets and bats everywhere. We all like our thumbs, and so does BMW, but perhaps not in the right way. According to a law suit filed in New York, a software developer named Godwin Boateng was waiting for a friend, posted up with his hand on the pillar of his front driver’s door, acting casual, as you do. This BMW X5, however, was equipped with the company’s Soft Closing Automatic Doors (unfortunately abbreviated SCAD), which casually closed on Godwin’s thumb, causing it to then separate from his body. After taking his BMW and his thumb to the hospital, doctors were unable to attach the latter, which has caused Godwin considerable consternation about the former, leading to the lawsuit alleging BMW knew that the sensors in the SCAD system were faulty and didn’t do anything to fix them. I don’t have to tell you listeners that, regardless of your car or features, it’s not a great idea to dangle any phalanges in places where there’s even the possibility that they may be involuntarily amputated, nor was I aware BMW even had a feature that would close doors on you, which is slightly creepy. In any case, who’s got two thumbs and chose the right German car? This guuyyyyyyy.

Florida Civic Takes Short Trip, Long Dip

Source: Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office — Source: Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office

I don’t have a pool, mostly because I’m lazy and the maintenance sounds absolutely dreadful, but if I did, and I didn’t have to work on a Tuesday afternoon, I’d totally take a quick splash to unwind. But I don’t think that’s what was planned earlier this month when a Florida resident left her car without placing it in park, causing the vehicle to roll into a nearby pool. Making matters worse, her husband and daughter were inside and were subjected to an unexpected plunging. They both made it out safely, but the same cannot be said for the bright blue civic, which looked positively serene at the bottom of a no doubt pissed off neighbor’s pool. The jokes here are obvious – gives a whole new meaning to carpool, go for a drive, not a dive, for sale with slight water damage, etc. etc. Please feel free to write your own as I enjoy not picking leaves out of my pool.

Cheetah Thinks Land Rovers are Purrfect

Big cats are noble creatures, and that’s probably why Jaguar chose one as its mascot. Even Mercury had the Cougar, which started out as a muscle car and developed into something, well, bad. But every once in a while we’re reminded that big cats are essentially just gigantic versions of the little assholes who go around knocking cups off the counter tops and destroying the legs of couches in homes across the world. Recently, wildlife photographer Peter Heistein was touring the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania when he paused in his Land Rover for lunch while observing a group of cheetahs. As they are wont, one of the curious cats approached and then jumped into Heistein’s car, sampling the fine interior head rests and gaining a commanding view of the surrounding plains. Heistein did the opposite of what you see on most YouTube Fail videos and remained calm, respected the animal’s space and allowed it to leave once it inevitably got bored. Next time the cat pukes on my pillow, I’m going to tell myself “at least it didn’t devour my interior.”

Not Stock Nissan Outruns All

If having a car with a ridiculously high top speed that you’ll never achieve on public roads or basically anywhere but an air strip or a salt flat is what you are looking for, you have several very expensive cars to select from. The McLaren P1, the LaFerrari, Lamborghini Aventador, you get it. Or you could get a Nissan Rogue Sport and beat all of those, because that’s just what some English guys did. British speed shop Severn Valley Motorsports made some slight tweaks to their Nissan, which is for sale in Europe as the awkwardly-named Qashqai, and hit a blistering 237 miles per hour, making it the world’s fastest SUV, though unofficially because it didn’t make two runs in opposing directions. What sort of tweaks did they make, you ask? Well, actually quite big tweaks. They threw out the absolute shit 2.5 litre four and CVT and tucked in the 3.8 litre twin turbo V6 from the Nissan GT-R, lowered it and provided a bunch of bespoke bodywork to streamline the otherwise boxy thing. So while sure, this is neat and it’s great that people are having fun in Nissan Rogues, this does absolutely not change my opinion that they are cars for people who would rather be doing anything but driving.

Devlin & G35 circle story attribution.png

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Time to Flee Chicago

An investigation from ProPublica and Mother Jones this week revealed that the city of Chicago has been bankrupting its citizens through aggressive efforts to collect on parking fines. And it’s not just a few isolated cases. They found around a more than 10,000 Chapter 13 bankruptcies that included debts to the city which were usually for unpaid tickets in amounts averaging $3,900. Tickets totaled about 7 % of the city’s total operating budget, around $264 million in 2016. Chicago loves to make parking difficult. For residential streets, they require you purchase a city sticker. Where you can find a parking spot, sometimes there will be neighborhood stickers too, further restricting spots. If you don’t have a city sticker, bam. $200 fine, and it’s not like they won’t give you a ticket because you have already received one. Unpaid tickets can result in garnishment of tax refunds, impounds, license suspensions and more. So while they can’t imprison you for debt, they basically make it impossible for you to travel, which makes it awfully hard to hold down a job to pay off fines.

There are many caveats to this, of course. You should obey the law and pay for parking and park legally, and in Chicago especially, having a car sucks because of the winter and it’s generally pretty easy to get around with the L and Metra, but they don’t go everywhere. So while it’s not impossible to avoid getting trapped in this cyclical debt loop with the city, it’s pretty hard to get out of once you’re in it. That’s where bankruptcy comes in, which is sometimes the only choice even when it wrecks your credit score. Chicago has been one of the only major metropolitan areas to lose population recently and one can’t help but wonder if it’s policies like this that place the city’s budget over the wellbeing of its people that is driving the exodus.

Geely Owner Buys into Daimler

This week Li Shufu, Chairman of Chinese automaker Geely, spent 7.3 billion Euro on Daimler stock, making him the largest single shareholder in the company who rejected advances from him previously. He now owns almost 10% of the company after initially asking for only five and has signaled his intention to stick with that amount for the time being, which sounds like a threat if he’s not taken seriously. China has been one of the strongest markets for German vehicles in the last decade and vehicles from Audi, BMW, Mercedes and others are frequently copied by Chinese manufacturers looking to cash in on their popular style. The Germans don’t need help selling their cars in China, and Daimler already has partnerships formed with BAIC Motor and BYD to develop electric vehicles under the Denza brand name, so it makes sense why Daimler wouldn’t want anything to do with Li or Geely. What it is Li is hoping to get from his hostile purchase of Daimler stock is still unclear, especially after it was reported that he had kicked the tires at Fiat Chrysler before going after Daimler stock. The companies are very, very different, so perhaps it’s just an effort to exert a greater control on overseas automotive players. Sort of the business equivalent of building sand islands in the South China Sea to claim more territory.

BMW to Build Mini-E in China

Speaking of China, they’re way out ahead of the rest of the world in terms of electric vehicle adoption and automakers the world over are seeing the advantage of working with Chinese companies who have developed expertise in this space. One such company is BMW, who has partnered with Chinese company Brilliance to produce the forthcoming electric Mini. Apparently this will be the first mini vehicle ever produced outside of England even though Mini has been owned, operated and designed by Germans since 2001. For some reason, some Mini electric vehicles will also be produced in England, but they will be different than the ones made in China. Given the strong history of both countries producing unreliable crap, this is sort of like a choose your own painful automotive adventure scenario.

UPS Expands Electric Fleet

Meanwhile, UPS is keeping Brown close to town. Er, home. Hometown. They’re getting some electric vehicles from the U.S. Specifically from Workhorse, who we’ve mentioned a few times here for their electric pickup truck. Apparently they’ve been working with UPS for about four years on the development of a class 5 delivery truck, whatever class 5 means, but UPS want more of them and have placed an order for 50. They’ll use these vehicles as a technology testbed with the aim of purchasing more next year. Of course the range of these trucks won’t be as good as on their gas-powered counterparts, especially when hauling heavy loads, UPS said that, just like their skimpy shorts, they’re okay covering less ground than is appropriate.

Ferrari Keeps on Rolling (Back Odometers)

Some disturbing news for all of you looking at the used Ferrari market this week when it was revealed that Ferrari corporate openly allowed dealerships to manipulate odometer readings, rolling back mileage to zero to inflate the value of their vehicles for sale. It’s not clear if they could roll back mileage to an arbitrary number, since a car with 50,000 miles on it will show some signs of wear and the odometer reading zero miles would smell awfully fishy. There’s also a statement from Ferrari that this could only be conducted on cars with fewer than 311 miles or 500 kilometers, which seems like it was intended to be used to wipe off delivery miles so new cars could be handed over to customers with a big old goose egg on the dash. How many times they could be reset though, could be meaningful. And the fact that, in order to use the tool, dealerships were required to receive authorization from Ferrari HQ is most definitely meaningful because it means they’re at least complicit in violating US federal and state laws against odometer manipulation. Ultimately, I don’t think this is going to result in any substantial change in the used Ferrari market since its application was apparently so limited, but it’s just sketchy as hell that such a function existed anyway. It’s pretty strange to me that Ferrari makes cars where you can change the odometer willy-nilly, but you can’t even stop it catching fire because they used cheap glue. Italian priorities...

Metal Market Manipulation Means More Migraines

Back here at home, Donald Trump has announced that he will be applying a 25% tariff to foreign steel and a 10% tariff to aluminum, apparently to prop up U.S. metal manufacturers. This is, of course, shortsighted and idiotic because lots of things use metals as components including, importantly, motor vehicles. So by making parts more expensive to come into the country, that incentivizes companies to produce their cars elsewhere and then import them, costing the U.S. vehicle manufacturing jobs. It will also result in higher vehicle prices during a time when vehicle sales are down, costing dealerships salespeople jobs. It could also kick off a trade war with China, the world’s largest steel manufacturer, who could impose tariffs on American goods in response, costing jobs in other sectors like farming. While the tariffs haven’t been implemented yet, the announcement alone took the stock market down 500 points because real businesspeople have the common sense to understand how supply chains work and appreciate the consequences of such actions. Hopefully this is a warning sign enough to scare Trump away from actually implementing the tax.

Ford’s Dumb Advertising Record

Visitors to Madrid, Spain may have noticed the iconic España Building looking a little different due to a truly massive Ford advertisement recently. Showing off the new EcoSport compact crossover, it is actually the Guinness World Record holder for largest billboard. I know an audio medium is not an ideal venue to discuss the scale of a visual advertisement, but consider it’s the size of 20 tennis courts and you sort of have a mental picture of how huge and unnecessary it is. If you’re thinking it’s ironic that they’d use such a wasteful display to promote the EcoSport, Ford says that when the ad campaign is complete, it will be donated to the Apascovi Foundation employment center for people with disabilities, where the materials used in its construction will be repurposed somehow.

Toyota to Build Mini-Nurburgring

The Nurburgring in Germany is widely considered the best place to test the limits of a car thanks to its long and varied course. That’s why it’s so popular to try to set new records there - automakers think of it as a measure of a car’s ability to cope with the most demanding conditions a car can face while driving as fast as possible. But for Japanese companies, Germany is half a world away, so getting cars there for comprehensive testing can be a huge pain in the ass. So as Toyota got to work on a new research and development center back home in Japan, they have decided to dedicate two square miles to the creation of a mini-Nurburgring. It’s just 3.3 miles but will feature many of the most demanding turns and elements of the famous German track. Fortunately, since this will be owned by Toyota, I don’t think it’ll experience the same ridiculous lap time contests, saving journalists the world over from having to roll our eyes when some new company claims to be the fastest ever around it.

Uber Rider Blacks Out, Finds Himself Home (300 miles away)

Another week, another crazy Uber story, but fortunately this was in no way the company’s fault. A man visiting friends at West Virginia University got hammered and, like a responsible college kid, called himself an Uber to get back home. Problem is, he lives in New Jersey and the driver, a well-meaning chap with a ridiculously comfortable Toyota Sienna, obliged for the 300 mile journey across three states to return him home when he blacked out in the back seat. The cost of this monumental cock-up? $1,635 and one rich Uber driver’s whole night. Even worse, the guy accidentally ordered an Uber XL instead of just an X, so he paid $700 more than he even could have if his drunk ass had been able to press buttons right. At least he didn’t drive, but maybe there is such a thing as too drunk to Uber.

Stink Bugs Create Rotten Situation for Kiwis

New Zealand residents waiting for new cars from Japan have been forced to wait a bit longer due to a severe infestation of stink bugs on container ships from Japan. New Zealand has a fragile ecosystem to which stink bugs could potentially do severe damage, so three container ships hauling approximately 10,000 new and used vehicles from Japan have been made to sit off the coast of the country until they can be cleaned out. A further 8,000 are sitting at the dock in Japan waiting for transport. New processes will be put into place after this fiasco to ensure cars are cleaned prior to shipment, but there’s still no word on when those ships will be cleaned up and vehicles delivered. Suddenly my house’s infestation doesn’t seem so dire.

Clever Man Pays, Steals with Own Tools

Here in the Midwest, police across several states are looking for a man who has been stealing thousands of dollars from automated car washes in Ohio and Indiana. This guy rolls up to an automated wash, inserts a laminated $20 bill attached to some fishing wire, yanks out the bill and cancels the sale on the wash machine, which spits out money in the amount he paid. At one station in Indiana, he was able to complete the task 35 times, netting him $700 just at one location. He’s apparently done this several times at different locations in different states and has yet to be caught, despite his face being visible to cameras on the machines. And we’re not talking about some criminal hacker mastermind, we’re talking about a clever guy with a laminator and fishing line. I had no idea car washes were so easy to game or held $700 worth of cash in them at one time! Kudos to this guy, but also not because, you know, criminal.

Naked Man Plays, Drives by Own Rules

In Kansas City this week, drivers along the 435 freeway that loops the city were treated to quite the show. Specifically, on display was a nude male riding a stolen bright yellow ATV into oncoming traffic. He refused to stop police and kept going for a while, managing to be filmed by several drivers which, let me tell you, makes for one hell of an animated gif. Police were eventually able to apprehend him and noted that no “dangerous instruments” were found on him, which seems like an especially harsh commentary on his personal endowment. Apparently the owner of the ATV called the police to report it stolen, at which point the 911 dispatcher started laughing and said “we know where your ATV is.” The owner may want to go ahead and purchase a new seat though.