Last Week at The Quail

This week was Monterey Car Week and the Concours d’Elegance in California, where the weather is beautiful except for when it’s on fire, which part of it is, but fortunately not along the central coast where there were hundreds of immaculate cars showcased. I’m going to have to make it out there sometime, but since I haven’t, go check out Autoblog or any other number of sites with massive galleries of all the amazing old cars on display this week. One of which was the 1970 Ferrari 512S Modulo Concept which looks just about as close to a space ship as a car ever has. In addition to the classics, several automakers brought along some new cars or concepts which I thought deserved their own special feature this week.

First was Infiniti’s Prototype 10, which follows the more classically styled Prototype 9 that the company brought to Pebble Beach last year. This one is also a single seat racer in the style of 1950s-era race cars, but with Infiniti’s current styling language applied. Not only that, it’s apparently sat upon the new rigid, adaptable electric vehicle chassis that may underpin future Infiniti EVs, giving it much greater relevance than your run-of-the-mill concept. Of course this will never see production, and we don’t know exactly what drives it anyway, but man is it pretty to look at.

Another pretty silver single-seat electric racing vehicle showed off was the Mercedes-Benz EQ Silver Arrow, which, like the Infiniti, is a modern take on a classic race car. Unlike the Infiniti, it’s a modern take on a specific race car, the 80 year-old Silver Arrow, a Mercedes that set a public road speed record of 269 miles per hour in Germany way back in 1938. Also unlike the Infiniti, we have performance figures for the EQ Silver Arrow, which lays down 738 horsepower, 80 kilowatt-hour battery that gives the car a respectable range of 249 miles. But I doubt you’d get that far with instant torque and more than 700 horsepower on tap. While the Infiniti will never see the light of day through a dealership’s windows, the drivetrain in this car could very easily slot into an AMG performance car like in the EQ range. Sort of like a rival to the Porsche Taycan or forthcoming Tesla Roadster.

Audi was like Electric Vehicles? Oh ja, we do that too, so they brought out their PB 18 e-tron concept which, while having the worst name of the three electric concepts, also had the worst looking style. Not to say it’s bad, but the Peanut Butter 18 just didn’t quite reach the high bar set by the Infiniti and Mercedes. It’s not a single seat racer, but rather a shooting-brake style two seat wagon-y hatchback thing that still features Audi’s recent trend of the front of their cars being 100% grill despite the fact that electric cars do not need grills. It also beats the Infiniti by having a real powertrain, with a 95 kilowatt-hour battery powering three electric motors putting out a combined 671 horsepower and 612 pound-feet of torque, accelerating the car to sixty in just over two seconds. It’s apparently good for a range of 310 miles on a single charge. This thing looks like it’s straight out of Blade Runner of Minority Report. It’s very, very futuristic and I think we’re in for a very exciting time in car design if these new looks are actually implemented in future production cars.

It wasn’t all electric cars though, as Lamborghini, who haven’t found an electric motor violent enough to put in their cars yet, unveiled the Aventador Superveloce Jota or SVJ. While only 30 horsepower more powerful than the Aventador S, how much more power do you need than the SVJ’s 759 and 531 foot-pounds of torque. It comes from a no-doubt throaty 6.5-litre V12 and drives all four wheels, which also feature four-wheel steering, combining with active aerodynamics to make the car especially agile. Of course it has set a Nurburgring record at some time faster than other people that is totally meaningless. It’s lower, it’s stiffer, it has more downforce and it’s faster than the Aventador S, which means it will be absolute hell to drive around anywhere that isn’t an immaculate race track, but I’m sure that isn’t going to stop some pharma bro or tech entrepreneur from trying. After all, they can afford the chiropractic work this car would create the need for.

Not to be outdone, Ferrari brought along a new car, or rather, a convertible version of a car we’ve previously seen, the 488 Pista. It’s the same as the coupe, with a twin-turbo 3.9-litre V8 engine churning out 711 horsepower and 568 foot-pounds of torque. But with the top down, the car is 0.4 seconds slower to 124 miles per hour than the coupe, taking a whole eight seconds, which I know will probably be a deal breaker for so many people.

On the more affordable end of the spectrum, the new BMW Z4 M40i was unveiled with a sharp “frozen orange metallic” paint job and it’s quite a dashing looking vehicle. Of course we’ve seen virtually every part of this car by now, so the complete package isn’t really a surprise, but what will be a surprise are performance figures, because they have embargoed those until September 2018, which is obnoxious. It’s apparently quick though, getting to sixty in less than four seconds, so draw your own conclusions about the car and its Toyota Supra sibling from there.

Back to the extreme end of the spectrum, Shelby Supercar, one time makers of the fastest car in the world, surprised everyone by bringing a new car to Pebble Beach this year. Called the Tuatara, SSC has worked with Nelson Racing Engines to build a 5.9-litre flat-plane crank twin-turbo V8 flex fuel engine, and this is where it gets a little special. If you run this car on E85 gasoline, it will make 1,750 horsepower. If you only have access to 91-octane dino juice, it will “only” make 1,350 horsepower. While we have no idea how fast it will actually go when those ponies kick in, it does apparently have a super low drag coefficient of just 0.279, which slightly worries me that it doesn’t have enough downforce, which you might want when your car is approaching 2,000 horsepower. The car is not desperately pretty and it is painted in a sort of matte primer color, but the point of this car is that number. The reason you would buy one of the 100 they are supposedly going to make, and have been saying they are going to make for seven years now, is that number. And the reason the police report will cite when it finds your body in three different locations in two different counties will also be that number.

Finally debuting this week was the Bugatti Divo, for which we’ve been getting so many teasers, it just seemed like Bugatti wanted to whip a dead horse, and they whipped it real good. But for good reason, the Divo, based on the Chiron, is a beautiful car and was shown with very fetching teal color accents. It’s 77 pounds lighter than the Chiron, generates almost 200 more pounds of downforce and will touch 236 miles per hour if you have a place where doing that is possible. Instead of just raw speed, this car was built with cornering in mind and was named after French racing driver Albert Divo, who raced a Bugatti to two Targa Florio wins back in the 1920s. It’s much more attractive than the Chiron, which is saying something, and probably worth all of the $5.8 million it would take to buy one because it’s only going to appreciate in value. Oh and if you’re thinking of saving up for one, don’t bother because they’re all already sold because there are way too many rich people in the world and I’m not one of them.

Which brings us to the auctions. No Monterey Car Week is complete without a few ridiculous vehicle sales, and this year was no different. One of the special cars that went up for sale was a 1987 Porsche 959 Komfort, which is one of those “homologation specials” we talk about; basically a car that was produced in road-going form just so the company could make a race car version of it and dominate, which Porsche did in Group B racing. There were only 249,959 Komforts ever made, so this was always going to bring a lot of money. Unfortunately for the owner of this vehicle, the trailer carrying it disconnected from the car towing it and the 959 plowed straight into a tree, and the owner just decided to sell it that way. So yeah, there was a very, very totalled-looking Porsche 959 auctioned off, and you know how much it sold for? $467,500. Amazing. I’m sure the buyer has some plans for it that don’t include leaving the tree-shaped damage to the front end.

But the real star of the auctions was a 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO being sold by Greg Whitten, an early Microsoft employee who invested very, very wisely. Only 36 of this vehicle were ever made and this particular 250 GTO, one of four upgraded by Scaglietti and one of only seven to have a more aggressive coachbuilt body designed by Pininfarina, making it lower, wider and shorter than other 250s. So you can imagine that this sold for a bit more than the $467k the crashed Porsche fetched. And yeah, it did okay. $48.8 million worth of okay, making it the most expensive car ever to sell at auction. Amazingly, that’s not even the most expensive Ferrari 250 GTO ever sold, as last year, a 1963 model sold in a private sale for $70 million, with another one going in 2013 for $52 million. So it just goes to show, you can get a better deal at an auto auction. You just may have to widen your definition of “deal.”

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines for the Week of August 13, 2018

Faraday Future Still a Thing, Promises Millions of Cars

Tesla isn’t the only electric car company in the news recently - you guys remember Faraday Future? The company behind the FF91, an apparent Model S killer that wouldn’t launch with less than an exorbitant 1,000 horsepower? Yeah, they’re still around. As a refresher, this is an American company funded by the guy behind China’s Netflix equivalent, but which recently had a 45% stake in it bought by Evergrande Health Industry Group because electric cars and healthcare are such a perfect fit or something. Well go figure, the American company isn’t very American anymore, as the firm announced the headquarters has been moved to China, where five R&D and production facilities will be built over the next decade. They’re promising an annual production capacity of 5,000,000 vehicles within ten years across both entry-level and premium segments to be shipped across the world. This, from a company that has yet to show a single finished example of their first car. Meanwhile Tesla, which makes real cars, is settling in at a tenth of that production capacity. So sure, 5,000,000. Right.

Germany to Force Diesel Fixes for VW Owners

While most Volkswagen diesel owners are probably decent human beings who reluctantly handed over their cheating cars for the good of humanity since they did really increase cancer risks, there are apparently a bunch of Germans who couldn’t really care about the state of your lungs, and who have kept their cheating diesel cars long after the fix has been available for their cars. Germany is going to start exercising some tough love with these jerks though, effectively giving them automotive time-out by refusing to renew registrations for vehicles that have not had their cheating software fixed. The German motor vehicle authority says only about five percent of Volkswagen TDIs have not been fixed, but it’s still enough that those drivers aren’t going to be able to fly under the radar anymore. I think it’s totally fair to say, “I’ve been too busy to take care of something,” but in two years, everyone has had some free time. Unless you’re Elon Musk, I guess.

South Korea Banning BMWs for Flambéing Themselves

Photo by BBC News

While the German government cracks down on some German cars, the South Korean government is cracking down on also some German cars. Namely BMWs because apparently 28 new Bimmers have caught fire in the country in the first half of this year which yes, seems like a lot. But the country is using this as an excuse to ban 20,000 BMWs from the roads until their engines have been fixed under a recall. BMW of South Korea is scrambling to issue a recall and organize a fix for about 106,000 diesel-powered cars including the 520d, which accounts for 20 of the fires alone. As of a couple of weeks ago, engineers still weren’t sure what was causing the problem, but the government’s action has lit a fire under them to identify and fix the issue. Yes, that was a pun.

VW’s Electrify America Promotes not VWs

Speaking of those cheating diesel Volkswagens though, VW has kicked off its Electric For All advertising campaign in the US, which is part of a $45 million public awareness campaign mandated by the settlement against the company for violating clean air rules. You might expect an ad paid for by Volkswagen to prominently feature Volkswagen vehicles, but instead the star here is a Chevy Bolt, with the next most prominent being a Hyundai Ionic. The Honda Clarity, BMW i3, Nissan Leaf are all also featured, as is, finally, the Volkswagen eGolf. The company says the ad is meant to be brand-neutral and seeks only to advance the public perception of electric vehicles, rather than of VW’s electric vehicles, which is very fair of them. That said, it’s rare for a company to be punished by effectively having to help sell other companies’ vehicles. 

Swedish Vehicles Vandalized by Incendiary Immigrants?

Photo by CNN

Meanwhile over in Sweden, the automotive market is also heating up, and by that I mean dozens of vehicles were set on fire this week by masked youths who were apparently unsatisfied with the heat of the Swedish summertime. The coordinated attacks on vehicles took place across several cities across the country, prompting a mature response from the Prime Minister, who asked, and I quote, “What the heck are you doing?” According to several outlets, the perpetrators are immigrants protesting recent anti-immigration rhetoric, which seems like a strange way to protest. Maybe they hadn’t heard the old saying “you catch more flies with honey than you do with Molotov cocktails hurled at motor vehicles belonging to private citizens who likely have nothing to do with vitriol being targeted at the influx of immigration to previously homogeneous cultures.” I dunno, maybe that one doesn’t translate to Swedish.

Subaru Replacing Recalled Ascents Outright

While South Korea forces BMW to recall 106,000 vehicles, Subaru is forcing themselves to recall just 293 2019 Ascent models because the robot in charge of welding the SUV’s B-pillar started hanging out with the wrong crowd, came in late, smelling of booze and weed and decided that doing a shitty job of welding a fairly important structural component wasn’t really required. Turns out, for safety, it absolutely is required, so the company is recalling fewer than 300 vehicles produced in an 8-day window in July when the robot was on its bender. Only nine of those cars had been sold, and instead of going without their car while the repairs are being made, customers are simply being handed the keys to a brand new vehicle instead. Subaru says that the welds were so critical and so deep within the car that repairing them didn’t make sense. This from a company that decided including 19 freaking cup holders in an 8-passenger car did make sense. 

Hertz 100th Birthday Makes a Great Vetteversary

While a hundred or so drivers in Sweden will be in need of rental cars for a while, they might want to check out Hertz, which is celebrating its 100th anniversary of being a company, which is legitimately an achievement. Who knew rental cars had been around since before the Dixie Flyer? In any case, while the poor Swedes don’t get this, we Americans will have the opportunity to rent one of a hundred Corvette Z06 models, which are painted in the company’s black and yellow colors and fitted with a bunch of obnoxious Hertz logos which really get in the way of convincing the cougars at the wineries that it is indeed your car. Who knows though, the 650 horsepower and same foot pounds of torque may even compel you to forego chasing tail for chasing down some twisty roads or stoplight drag races, but only for 75 miles, because thereafter, you’ll have to pay 75¢ per mile, as well as need to return it with a full tank of gas, which, with a supercharger, is going to go pretty quickly. You can find these in a number of major cities across the country for $199 per day without taxes or fees or the optional insurance or care package or navigation unit or pre-pay for gas or spare set of keys or whatever the hell they try to up-sell you with next. 

Formula E Racers Coming Up for Sale

While you may still be waiting a while for Elon Musk to personally deliver your Model 3, there’s an exciting new opportunity to buy some other electric vehicles that are a little more interesting and a lot less practical. Since Formula E will be debuting all-new cars when racing begins in December of this year, the old cars aren’t needed anymore, so the racing body will be selling off the 40 old model electric racers for prices roughly between $200,000 to $300,000. Yes, that’s a lot more than your $35,000 entry-level people’s electric car, but it is so incredibly much cooler to have an electric race car! But we all know these are going to be purchased by rich jackasses who probably won’t even drive them and will strip out the battery cells and mount them on the walls of their homes in Malibu, because apparently rich people have no taste, but really, really strong walls.

One week to @FIAWEC 6h of Silverstone!!! who’s coming for an awesome weekend? 17th-19th August See you all there!!!!!!! ✊️@Toyota_Hybrid #wec #silverstone6hrs pic.twitter.com/6riYZmYPIt

— Fernando Alonso (@alo_oficial) August 11, 2018

Fernando Alonso Retires

In other racing news, after 17 years behind the wheel, Fernando Alonso is retiring from Formula 1, which definitely totally did not have anything to do with him driving for McLaren who consistently fail to field reliable, competitive cars that frequently incur engine failure. Already this season, he’s splitting his time with the Toyota team at the World Endurance Championship, and speculation is rife that he will join IndyCar. He’s only 37 and has won the Formula 1 championship twice, being regarded one of the best F1 drivers in the history of the sport, so it’s sad to see him go, but it’d be like if Gordon Ramsay were forced by contract to work at Burger King. It’s just not going to last.

Porsche Sets Track Records with Panamera Hybrid

Long-time listeners and friends will know that my full-time job is in marketing, and I am no stranger to firing up the old hype machine or being able to put a positive spin on virtually anything, but there are some things even I will never understand. One of those is the unrelenting pursuit of race track lap records by cars that will never ever ever be driven on race tracks. Which brings us to Porsche, makers of many vehicles that are plenty capable of performing admirably on race tracks. They announced this week that they had set lap records at six FIA-certified racing circuits. The qualification here is that they set the records with the four-door Panamera Turbo S E-Hybrid, and that the records are all for the “fastest luxury four door hybrid sedan.” The obvious question here is who gives a shit, and I really honestly can’t figure it out. What buyers are out there cross-shopping the Panamera with the Mercedes-AMG GT53 four door or Tesla Model S or BMW 750 and are like, “well, the others were nice, but the Mercedes only held five track records for fastest hybrid four-door sedan, so I guess we should probably get the Porsche because that will be super relevant when we’re parking it at the fancy outlet mall or in the Starbucks drive-thru."

Bottoms-up Booze for Bimmers?

A few years ago, Anheuser-Busch debuted their bottoms-up beer service at Cardinals games, which I then tried because it was a fun novelty that the company said was meant to cut down on the head in beers and make for a more even pour. Sure, guys. Anyway, this concept - a magnet at the bottom of the glass that is popped up by a filler which then squirts the drink into the glass - has found its way into the automotive community via a patent application by BMW. Before you get any ideas that this is going to only make your Diet Coke addiction more accessible in your 335i, remember that BMW owns Rolls-Royce and that the patent specifically features champagne flutes in the drawings, so it’s definitely meant for the same types of people who are being driven around Santa Barbara by Jeeves while filthy hourly workers mount Formula E cars on their walls because they didn’t want to interact with “the help.” 

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines for the Week of April 23rd, 2018

Leafs Light Up Japan

Source: Nissan

One of the primary questions facing the electric vehicle industry is what happens to the lithium ion batteries after the vehicle has either crashed or it’s met the end of its useful life. Lithium Ion batteries are far more impressive than their Nickel-metal-hydride predecessors, but after 10,000 cycles or so, they will start to see some capacity loss due to general wear and tear. You’ll know from having a cell phone that batteries don’t last forever, but Nissan is preparing for the future by partnering with a company called 4R Energy Corporation. They are recycling used Nissan Leaf batteries in street lights, which utilize a combination of solar generation and storage (in the former Leaf battery cells) to provide illumination to roads not served by the electrical grid. They’re starting this program in Namie, Japan, which was hit hard by and is still recovering from the 2011 Tohoku earthquake. Pilots are under testing now and the company plans to install lights throughout the town later this year. One can see this being especially useful in other disaster zones like Puerto Rico after Maria, New York after Sandy or the city of New Orleans after a weekend night.

Lincoln Launches Subscription Service

If you’ve ever wanted to drive a used Lincoln, but the thought of owning one just put you off too much, there’s great news. The company is following in the footsteps of Volvo, Cadillac and Porsche and offering a subscription service. No, not for the new Continental or Navigator. For its used cars. That means you can pay just over $400 a month to drive New York’s finest fleet taxi vehicle, the MKX. If that price doesn’t sound appealing, consider that that price also pays for insurance, maintenance, warranty and the ability to swap into a slightly smaller but no more enjoyable MKC at any time. If it still doesn’t sound appealing, than consider yourself in the same boat as me. 

California Self-Driving Registration Deadline Update

April 2nd was the first day self-driving cars could legally hit the roads in California. Being home to more than 50 companies testing autonomous systems, it was slated to be a truly historic day for the state. And then only one company applied for a permit. So on the first day, zero self-driving cars hit the road. The timing, perhaps, was not excellent, coming on the heels of Uber’s fatal wreck and a general cringing of other companies as they look to perfect technology before pushing it out to the public. Nevertheless, it’s a good sign that California is regulating it, and that companies were honest enough with their self-assessments that nobody is putting unsafe hardware out on the streets. 

Thumbs Down to BMW

Thumbs are great – they’re one of the best things about being human and allow us to grab things and compete in sports like baseball and tennis without accidentally flinging rackets and bats everywhere. We all like our thumbs, and so does BMW, but perhaps not in the right way. According to a law suit filed in New York, a software developer named Godwin Boateng was waiting for a friend, posted up with his hand on the pillar of his front driver’s door, acting casual, as you do. This BMW X5, however, was equipped with the company’s Soft Closing Automatic Doors (unfortunately abbreviated SCAD), which casually closed on Godwin’s thumb, causing it to then separate from his body. After taking his BMW and his thumb to the hospital, doctors were unable to attach the latter, which has caused Godwin considerable consternation about the former, leading to the lawsuit alleging BMW knew that the sensors in the SCAD system were faulty and didn’t do anything to fix them. I don’t have to tell you listeners that, regardless of your car or features, it’s not a great idea to dangle any phalanges in places where there’s even the possibility that they may be involuntarily amputated, nor was I aware BMW even had a feature that would close doors on you, which is slightly creepy. In any case, who’s got two thumbs and chose the right German car? This guuyyyyyyy.

Florida Civic Takes Short Trip, Long Dip

Source: Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office

I don’t have a pool, mostly because I’m lazy and the maintenance sounds absolutely dreadful, but if I did, and I didn’t have to work on a Tuesday afternoon, I’d totally take a quick splash to unwind. But I don’t think that’s what was planned earlier this month when a Florida resident left her car without placing it in park, causing the vehicle to roll into a nearby pool. Making matters worse, her husband and daughter were inside and were subjected to an unexpected plunging. They both made it out safely, but the same cannot be said for the bright blue civic, which looked positively serene at the bottom of a no doubt pissed off neighbor’s pool. The jokes here are obvious – gives a whole new meaning to carpool, go for a drive, not a dive, for sale with slight water damage, etc. etc. Please feel free to write your own as I enjoy not picking leaves out of my pool.

Cheetah Thinks Land Rovers are Purrfect

Big cats are noble creatures, and that’s probably why Jaguar chose one as its mascot. Even Mercury had the Cougar, which started out as a muscle car and developed into something, well, bad. But every once in a while we’re reminded that big cats are essentially just gigantic versions of the little assholes who go around knocking cups off the counter tops and destroying the legs of couches in homes across the world.  Recently, wildlife photographer Peter Heistein was touring the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania when he paused in his Land Rover for lunch while observing a group of cheetahs. As they are wont, one of the curious cats approached and then jumped into Heistein’s car, sampling the fine interior head rests and gaining a commanding view of the surrounding plains. Heistein did the opposite of what you see on most YouTube Fail videos and remained calm, respected the animal’s space and allowed it to leave once it inevitably got bored. Next time the cat pukes on my pillow, I’m going to tell myself “at least it didn’t devour my interior.” 

Not Stock Nissan Outruns All

Source: Severn Valley Motorsports

If having a car with a ridiculously high top speed that you’ll never achieve on public roads or basically anywhere but an air strip or a salt flat is what you are looking for, you have several very expensive cars to select from. The McLaren P1, the LaFerrari, Lamborghini Aventador, you get it. Or you could get a Nissan Rogue Sport and beat all of those, because that’s just what some English guys did. British speed shop Severn Valley Motorsports made some slight tweaks to their Nissan, which is for sale in Europe as the awkwardly-named Qashqai, and hit a blistering 237 miles per hour, making it the world’s fastest SUV, though unofficially because it didn’t make two runs in opposing directions. What sort of tweaks did they make, you ask? Well, actually quite big tweaks. They threw out the absolute shit 2.5 litre four and CVT and tucked in the 3.8 litre twin turbo V6 from the Nissan GT-R, lowered it and provided a bunch of bespoke bodywork to streamline the otherwise boxy thing. So while sure, this is neat and it’s great that people are having fun in Nissan Rogues, this does absolutely not change my opinion that they are cars for people who would rather be doing anything but driving.

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines for the Week of March 19th, 2018

List time!

Do you like lists? Well we got some lists this week, starting with Consumer Reports, who, uh, reported on the ten new cars most likely to last longer than 200,000 miles. This is, of course, not based on any sort of long-term testing since they're new cars, but rather based on expectations set by old versions of the cars. As you'd expect, the list is entirely comprised of Hondas and Toyotas, with the sole non-Honda/Toyota being the Ford F-150.
Another list we got was from Edmunds of their vehicle brands with the most and least loyal buyers. So did the likelihood that cars will last longer than 200,000 miles correlate with higher brand loyalty? Yep. Toyota and Honda were first and third, with only Subaru coming between them. Also in the top ten non-luxury brands were Ram, Chevy, Hyundai, Kia, Nissan, Ford and Mazda. Jeep just missed out on the top ten, ranking that high probably only due to the popularity of the Wrangler. At the bottom? You guessed it. Dodge, Chrysler and Fiat.

Ford’s Future Sees Several SUVs

Remember the first generation Ford Explorer? The one that had the exploding Wilderness AT tires that caused them to flip over and kill people? Well, one of the reasons that story was news was because SUVs were relatively new and the high center of gravity exacerbated the likelihood of the vehicle flipping in an accident. From that Explorer, we got tougher safety rules for tires, for roof rigidity and for rollover resistance. But what we also got were a whole slew of other SUVs that followed Ford's recipe of building large vehicles built primarily for on-road use. It's surprising then, that one of the pioneers of the SUV movement has fallen so far behind its competitors as the SUV craze heats up again. Ford's existing Escape, Edge, Explorer and Expedition are fine, but don't particularly stand out in an increasingly crowded field.

So Ford is taking action as we've discussed recently, coming out with a new Bronco and now a baby Bronco that promise off-road prowess to those seeking it, while ST versions of most models will inject some sportiness where there currently really isn't any. While other brands go upmarket, Ford is looking to expand to performance niches, which should be attractive to enthusiasts. But Ford also announced this week that it's entering a three year partnership with Indian manufacturer Mahindra to develop some small cars, but interestingly, an electric SUV. Apparently Mahindra will supply the body of the vehicle with the technology that goes inside coming from Ford, who only have a few forays into the electric vehicle realm currently. Its interesting that Ford wouldn't want to use any of their existing platforms for such a development, but perhaps Mahindra just has a chassis that caters particularly well to electrification. In any case, these cross-company collaborations are becoming increasingly common as brands look to reduce costs and expand into new markets.

Musk Makes Mad Money

Despite not accepting a paycheck for his work at Tesla, the company's board and shareholders have generously decided to force one upon him, assuming he meets specific goals related to the company's value in the stock market. The company is currently valued at $56 billion and the bonuses for performance kick in once the company hits $100 billion. If the company becomes one of the highest valued in the world at $650 billion, Musk would earn an incredible $55 billion for himself. As is, he'll have to be content with his paltry $2.6 billion in company stock, which in addition to his existing $20 billion net worth, will probably be enough to keep him warm at night. This comes despite the fact that, yet again, the company is likely going to miss its production targets for Q1 for the Model 3, which still has around 450,000 outstanding orders yet to be filled.

Shareholders and the board also don't seem upset by the fact that many of the new cars coming off the assembly line have to go directly to reworking facilities because the part quality, fit and finish are so poor. Nor does it bug them that things are taking so long because much of the cars are being hand-built while the robots that are supposed to be making them just sort of hang out in Germany. Also not phasing them is the fact that Tesla fired 700 employees in October or the fact that the United Auto Workers union is getting increasingly aggressive with its activities around the Fremont, California facility. Nope, none of this matters because they say that they see a bigger opportunity for long-term value through energy capture, storage and use. Well, unfortunately for them, they're not the only company working in each of those areas, and they certainly aren't the company with the best product in any of them. And in the interest of full disclosure, I do work for a company that produces an energy storage system similar to Tesla's, so I do have an idea of what the competitive marketplace looks like.

LSEV EV is 3DP

It was inevitable. After we heard about Porsche and Bugatti 3D printing parts for their vehicles to improve performance and reduce cost, it was only a matter of time before we saw an entire car made by a 3D printer. Well, that day is today because Chinese company Polymaker has worked with Italian manufacturer X Electrical Vehicle to produce the LSEV, which is almost entirely 3D printed. Obviously things like the chassis, tires and windshield could not be printed for safety reasons, but that's apparently about it in terms of other parts produced normally. They say they've also been able to reduce the amount of plastic parts in the car from 2,000 (which is typical in conventionally produced vehicles) to just 57. Imagine driving a car with just 57 plastic panels on it! Of course this comes at a cost, which is performance. It has just 93 miles of range and only drives 47 miles per hour, making it mildly more effective than a golf cart, which honestly probably has even fewer plastic panels and apparently fewer is better?

Nissan’s Electrified Future

Nissan announced this week a new initiative called M.O.V.E., which is an acronym for "Mobility, Operational Excellence, Value to Customers and Electrification," and which aims to sell a million electrified vehicles by 2022. Of course, "electrified" can mean hybrid or plug-in and not necessarily true electric vehicles, so perhaps the goal isn't that ambitious, but another part of the plan is for 20 models to have autonomous technology. As part of this, they announced the forthcoming Altima would be the third Nissan vehicle to get their Pro Pilot autonomous system, which is pretty basic so far. And that's probably a good thing, given the week autonomous vehicles have had.

Accord to Cheap Out to Sell Out

Fresh off a redesign that has it looking uglier in almost every respect than its previous generation, the Honda Accord now features a hybrid model that uses the company's tried and true system of pairing a 143-horsepower four cylinder with a 181-horsepower electric motor to somehow combine and create only 212 horsepower. Impressively, the trunk space isn't hindered at all by the battery, which probably means there's no spare tire. Also impressive is the fact that the new Accord Hybrid costs a whopping $4,000 less than the outgoing one. The reasons for this, to me, are many. First, the new hybrid is actually less efficient than the old hybrid, averaging just 47 MPG in the city. Second, just look at it, with its awkward chrome unibrow-looking front end and Volvo knock-off rear with its incomplete styling lines and random chrome. It's an ugly car. I used to really like the Accord, but this really changes all that. Also, sedan sales are dropping like a stone and the Accord, usually a best seller in this class, is stagnating on dealer lots. As of the beginning of this month, dealers averaged a 103-day supply of Accords, which are normally so in-demand they can be hard to find. The problem is so bad that some dealers have canceled orders for new Accords and others are asking Honda to come up with some generous incentives for leases just to get them out of their inventories. And it's still not a bad car, it's winning acclaim for its performance from many news outlets. But man, just look at it! I suspect many buyers are, and that's the reason they're still sitting on the lot.

Viper Factory’s Future Features Past

When the production of the Dodge Viper ceased last year, Detroit lost a factory (again) and gained an empty building (again). Fortunately, Fiat Chrysler have come up with some plans to not just let the structure languish and decay the way so many other factories have in the motor city. Instead, the building will be remodeled to become a museum for historic Chrysler and Fiat vehicles in North America. It will be renamed the Connor Center and become home to 85 of the company's 400 or so historic cars, but for reasons unknown to me, it will not initially be open to the public. If I were Chrysler, and thank god I'm not because I can't stomach another breakdown, I'd be out there every day imploring the public to remember that we once made some cars that some consider historic. Basically anything to distract from the current fleet's J.D. Power and Consumer Reports scores.

Design Finally Trending the Right Direction

When you think of over-designed cars, the first thing that has to come to mind is the current Honda Civic. It's just vile in its ostentatious, look-at-me boy-racer styling, but it's far from the only guilty party. The new Lexus style is fairly polarizing and the Germans have been guilty of applying 15 feet of styling to a 12 foot car recently as well. But, at least in the latter's case, that's set to change with upcoming models, as both BMW and Mercedes have announced plans to tone down their looks and bring styling back to a simple, understated elegance. Honestly, it's what I like most about German cars and part of the reason I bought the GTI. For the price, for the performance, it was the least shouty choice and the silver paint really made the few styling lines on it pop in a way that I thought was really clean looking. Whereas with recent Mercedes and BMW vehicles, intersecting styling lines have tended to create design clash instead of flow, new models will emphasize sleekness. Audi has been doing this for years, but their downfall is that, in creating a minimalist design, they have minimized the differences in all of their vehicles, making them virtually indistinguishable from one another. 

Driving Test Involves Not Much Driving

Photo by Buffalo Police Department

Things didn't go too well for a 17 year-old in Buffalo, Minnesota on Tuesday, when she went to take her driver's test. Parked right out front of the exam office, the teen fired up the vehicle, which is apparently the only part of the test she got right, then shifted into drive, stomped on the gas instead of the brake and launched her Chevy Equinox straight through the front of the office. Fortunately, nobody was inside and the teen wasn't hurt, but the 60 year-old examiner in the car with her had to be hospitalized for non-life-threatening injuries. While no charges will be filed against her for the mistake, I am pretty sure her classmates will sentence her to life without forgetting what she's done.

Stig’s Strange Speed Stunt

Photo by Guiness World Records

Last week it was lawn mowers, this week, tractors, as Top Gear's Stig has set a new Guinness World Record for fastest modified tractor. As a stunt for this weekend's episode, the bright orange rig with a ridiculous wing on the back hit 87.27 miles per hour after two runs were averaged. For a 5.7 litre 507 horsepower Chevy V8, that isn't very fast at all, but for the Stig, in a tractor with open sides, I bet it felt pretty damn quick. Some say, he moonlights as a scarecrow.

Bike Breaks, Brings Brown Boxers

In other speed-related news, things didn't go quite to plan for Valerie Thompson this week at the World Speed Trials in Australia, which takes place on a salt flat that I didn't know existed outside of Bonneville. While attempting to break her 304 mile per hour record on a custom motorcycle, Valerie's bike...experienced trouble...causing the bike to lay down and slide for about a mile, shedding bits of itself along the way as it came to a stop and leaving a bright red stripe across Australia. Fortunately, Valerie is okay and she did manage to hit 328 miles per hour before the problem started. The bike, however, needs some serious work. Experiencing technical difficulties is never fun, but I can't imagine a more pants shitting moment than technical difficulties occuring above 300 miles per hour on two wheels.

McLaren Finds Friends with Flops

McLaren may not have had much luck with Formula 1 last year since they used Honda's shitty, under-powered, unreliable motors, but they haven't lost their sense of humor. Since now all Formula 1 vehicles will be fitted with the so-called "Halo" to prevent drivers' heads being taken off by flying debris or, indeed flying other vehicles, that means there's a new hashtag branding opportunity for companies constantly seeking for a way to make the most expensive motor sport cheaper. Some have accurately noticed that the halo device looks less like a halo and more like the straps of flip flops or, if you live in Australia, thongs. So who better to sponsor the halo than a flip flop company? McLaren has brought on Gandys, a British lifestyle brand who are, fittingly, launching a McLaren-inspired flip flop called the "halo edition," from which 100% of profits will go to the company's charity that benefits orphans in Sri Lanka. So while we'll wait to see if this season has a happier ending for McLaren, we should all go out and buy some F1 flip flops and give some orphans happy endings a little sooner.

Philippines Phlatens Phat Rides

If you're familiar with Rodrigo Duterte, this next story is probably going to seem pretty tame by his standards. After all, he operates death squads that have killed a documented 1,400 drug users, petty criminals and homeless people, even children. But he is the president of the Philippines, where he rules with an iron fist and squadron of bulldozers. And I do mean literal bulldozers, which he used this week to crush 14 vehicles worth about $525,000 that were illegally imported into the country. The cars included Mercedes, Porsches and Maseratis and the show was broadcast for the entire country to see, apparently as a confirmation of the Duterte's commitment to build a country free from the shackles of corruption. There's more work to do as apparently there are almost 1,000 other smuggled vehicles on the docket for destruction. As much as I don't want to see Lamborghinis, Aston Martins and others impounded and then crushed in a reality show kind of way, I suppose it's worth it if it takes Duterte's mind off of killing the children of drug addicts.

Highway to Hellcat

A Wisconsin man apparently out to prove the unsuitability of the Dodge Challenger Hellcat was arrested on Tuesday for driving 140 miles per hour on an Indiana Toll Road. If you're thinking, "how the hell did the cops catch a 707 horsepower muscle car?" Well it's not because he crashed, it's because he got caught behind everyone's favorite rolling roadblock; two semis driving side-by-side without passing each other. This may have been the only occasion that that happening was actually a good thing. When asked for an explanation why he was driving at twice the speed limit on an interstate, the driver just said he was trying to get to Maryland. Because there can't possibly be faster ways to get there than by endangering hundreds of people on public roads with a drag race car with shitty suspension.

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines for the Week of February 26th, 2018

Time to Flee Chicago

An investigation from ProPublica and Mother Jones this week revealed that the city of Chicago has been bankrupting its citizens through aggressive efforts to collect on parking fines. And it’s not just a few isolated cases. They found around a more than 10,000 Chapter 13 bankruptcies that included debts to the city which were usually for unpaid tickets in amounts averaging $3,900. Tickets totaled about 7 % of the city’s total operating budget, around $264 million in 2016. Chicago loves to make parking difficult. For residential streets, they require you purchase a city sticker. Where you can find a parking spot, sometimes there will be neighborhood stickers too, further restricting spots. If you don’t have a city sticker, bam. $200 fine, and it’s not like they won’t give you a ticket because you have already received one. Unpaid tickets can result in garnishment of tax refunds, impounds, license suspensions and more. So while they can’t imprison you for debt, they basically make it impossible for you to travel, which makes it awfully hard to hold down a job to pay off fines.

There are many caveats to this, of course. You should obey the law and pay for parking and park legally, and in Chicago especially, having a car sucks because of the winter and it’s generally pretty easy to get around with the L and Metra, but they don’t go everywhere. So while it’s not impossible to avoid getting trapped in this cyclical debt loop with the city, it’s pretty hard to get out of once you’re in it. That’s where bankruptcy comes in, which is sometimes the only choice even when it wrecks your credit score. Chicago has been one of the only major metropolitan areas to lose population recently and one can’t help but wonder if it’s policies like this that place the city’s budget over the wellbeing of its people that is driving the exodus.

Geely Owner Buys into Daimler

This week Li Shufu, Chairman of Chinese automaker Geely, spent 7.3 billion Euro on Daimler stock, making him the largest single shareholder in the company who rejected advances from him previously. He now owns almost 10% of the company after initially asking for only five and has signaled his intention to stick with that amount for the time being, which sounds like a threat if he’s not taken seriously. China has been one of the strongest markets for German vehicles in the last decade and vehicles from Audi, BMW, Mercedes and others are frequently copied by Chinese manufacturers looking to cash in on their popular style. The Germans don’t need help selling their cars in China, and Daimler already has partnerships formed with BAIC Motor and BYD to develop electric vehicles under the Denza brand name, so it makes sense why Daimler wouldn’t want anything to do with Li or Geely. What it is Li is hoping to get from his hostile purchase of Daimler stock is still unclear, especially after it was reported that he had kicked the tires at Fiat Chrysler before going after Daimler stock. The companies are very, very different, so perhaps it’s just an effort to exert a greater control on overseas automotive players. Sort of the business equivalent of building sand islands in the South China Sea to claim more territory.

BMW to Build Mini-E in China

Speaking of China, they’re way out ahead of the rest of the world in terms of electric vehicle adoption and automakers the world over are seeing the advantage of working with Chinese companies who have developed expertise in this space. One such company is BMW, who has partnered with Chinese company Brilliance to produce the forthcoming electric Mini. Apparently this will be the first mini vehicle ever produced outside of England even though Mini has been owned, operated and designed by Germans since 2001. For some reason, some Mini electric vehicles will also be produced in England, but they will be different than the ones made in China. Given the strong history of both countries producing unreliable crap, this is sort of like a choose your own painful automotive adventure scenario. 

UPS Expands Electric Fleet

Meanwhile, UPS is keeping Brown close to town. Er, home. Hometown. They’re getting some electric vehicles from the U.S. Specifically from Workhorse, who we’ve mentioned a few times here for their electric pickup truck. Apparently they’ve been working with UPS for about four years on the development of a class 5 delivery truck, whatever class 5 means, but UPS want more of them and have placed an order for 50. They’ll use these vehicles as a technology testbed with the aim of purchasing more next year. Of course the range of these trucks won’t be as good as on their gas-powered counterparts, especially when hauling heavy loads, UPS said that, just like their skimpy shorts, they’re okay covering less ground than is appropriate.

Ferrari Keeps on Rolling (Back Odometers)

Some disturbing news for all of you looking at the used Ferrari market this week when it was revealed that Ferrari corporate openly allowed dealerships to manipulate odometer readings, rolling back mileage to zero to inflate the value of their vehicles for sale. It’s not clear if they could roll back mileage to an arbitrary number, since a car with 50,000 miles on it will show some signs of wear and the odometer reading zero miles would smell awfully fishy. There’s also a statement from Ferrari that this could only be conducted on cars with fewer than 311 miles or 500 kilometers, which seems like it was intended to be used to wipe off delivery miles so new cars could be handed over to customers with a big old goose egg on the dash. How many times they could be reset though, could be meaningful. And the fact that, in order to use the tool, dealerships were required to receive authorization from Ferrari HQ is most definitely meaningful because it means they’re at least complicit in violating US federal and state laws against odometer manipulation. Ultimately, I don’t think this is going to result in any substantial change in the used Ferrari market since its application was apparently so limited, but it’s just sketchy as hell that such a function existed anyway. It’s pretty strange to me that Ferrari makes cars where you can change the odometer willy-nilly, but you can’t even stop it catching fire because they used cheap glue. Italian priorities...

Metal Market Manipulation Means More Migraines

Back here at home, Donald Trump has announced that he will be applying a 25% tariff to foreign steel and a 10% tariff to aluminum, apparently to prop up U.S. metal manufacturers. This is, of course, shortsighted and idiotic because lots of things use metals as components including, importantly, motor vehicles. So by making parts more expensive to come into the country, that incentivizes companies to produce their cars elsewhere and then import them, costing the U.S. vehicle manufacturing jobs. It will also result in higher vehicle prices during a time when vehicle sales are down, costing dealerships salespeople jobs. It could also kick off a trade war with China, the world’s largest steel manufacturer, who could impose tariffs on American goods in response, costing jobs in other sectors like farming. While the tariffs haven’t been implemented yet, the announcement alone took the stock market down 500 points because real businesspeople have the common sense to understand how supply chains work and appreciate the consequences of such actions. Hopefully this is a warning sign enough to scare Trump away from actually implementing the tax.

Ford’s Dumb Advertising Record

Visitors to Madrid, Spain may have noticed the iconic España Building looking a little different due to a truly massive Ford advertisement recently. Showing off the new EcoSport compact crossover, it is actually the Guinness World Record holder for largest billboard. I know an audio medium is not an ideal venue to discuss the scale of a visual advertisement, but consider it’s the size of 20 tennis courts and you sort of have a mental picture of how huge and unnecessary it is. If you’re thinking it’s ironic that they’d use such a wasteful display to promote the EcoSport, Ford says that when the ad campaign is complete, it will be donated to the Apascovi Foundation employment center for people with disabilities, where the materials used in its construction will be repurposed somehow.

Toyota to Build Mini-Nurburgring

The Nurburgring in Germany is widely considered the best place to test the limits of a car thanks to its long and varied course. That’s why it’s so popular to try to set new records there - automakers think of it as a measure of a car’s ability to cope with the most demanding conditions a car can face while driving as fast as possible. But for Japanese companies, Germany is half a world away, so getting cars there for comprehensive testing can be a huge pain in the ass. So as Toyota got to work on a new research and development center back home in Japan, they have decided to dedicate two square miles to the creation of a mini-Nurburgring. It’s just 3.3 miles but will feature many of the most demanding turns and elements of the famous German track. Fortunately, since this will be owned by Toyota, I don’t think it’ll experience the same ridiculous lap time contests, saving journalists the world over from having to roll our eyes when some new company claims to be the fastest ever around it.

Uber Rider Blacks Out, Finds Himself Home (300 miles away)

Another week, another crazy Uber story, but fortunately this was in no way the company’s fault. A man visiting friends at West Virginia University got hammered and, like a responsible college kid, called himself an Uber to get back home. Problem is, he lives in New Jersey and the driver, a well-meaning chap with a ridiculously comfortable Toyota Sienna, obliged for the 300 mile journey across three states to return him home when he blacked out in the back seat. The cost of this monumental cock-up? $1,635 and one rich Uber driver’s whole night. Even worse, the guy accidentally ordered an Uber XL instead of just an X, so he paid $700 more than he even could have if his drunk ass had been able to press buttons right. At least he didn’t drive, but maybe there is such a thing as too drunk to Uber.

Stink Bugs Create Rotten Situation for Kiwis

New Zealand residents waiting for new cars from Japan have been forced to wait a bit longer due to a severe infestation of stink bugs on container ships from Japan. New Zealand has a fragile ecosystem to which stink bugs could potentially do severe damage, so three container ships hauling approximately 10,000 new and used vehicles from Japan have been made to sit off the coast of the country until they can be cleaned out. A further 8,000 are sitting at the dock in Japan waiting for transport. New processes will be put into place after this fiasco to ensure cars are cleaned prior to shipment, but there’s still no word on when those ships will be cleaned up and vehicles delivered. Suddenly my house’s infestation doesn’t seem so dire.

Clever Man Pays, Steals with Own Tools

Here in the Midwest, police across several states are looking for a man who has been stealing thousands of dollars from automated car washes in Ohio and Indiana. This guy rolls up to an automated wash, inserts a laminated $20 bill attached to some fishing wire, yanks out the bill and cancels the sale on the wash machine, which spits out money in the amount he paid. At one station in Indiana, he was able to complete the task 35 times, netting him $700 just at one location. He’s apparently done this several times at different locations in different states and has yet to be caught, despite his face being visible to cameras on the machines. And we’re not talking about some criminal hacker mastermind, we’re talking about a clever guy with a laminator and fishing line. I had no idea car washes were so easy to game or held $700 worth of cash in them at one time! Kudos to this guy, but also not because, you know, criminal.

Naked Man Plays, Drives by Own Rules

In Kansas City this week, drivers along the 435 freeway that loops the city were treated to quite the show. Specifically, on display was a nude male riding a stolen bright yellow ATV into oncoming traffic. He refused to stop police and kept going for a while, managing to be filmed by several drivers which, let me tell you, makes for one hell of an animated gif. Police were eventually able to apprehend him and noted that no “dangerous instruments” were found on him, which seems like an especially harsh commentary on his personal endowment. Apparently the owner of the ATV called the police to report it stolen, at which point the 911 dispatcher started laughing and said “we know where your ATV is.” The owner may want to go ahead and purchase a new seat though.

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines for the week of February 12th, 2018

No Longer Saved By Zero

Nowadays, Chevy and Buick are at the top of my list when it comes to the absolute worst car commercials on television. Between the just genuinely terrible, staged, fake, “Real People” ads and the awful techno Buick surprise ads, it’s hard to think it was ever worse. And yet, Toyota tried their best to rob us of our sanity in 2008 with their “Saved by Zero” campaign that featured music from the Fixx to promote their zero percent financing program in the Fall. Of course, 2008 was right as the housing bubble was bursting, so low rates became common, and they’re still around today, but they may not be around too much longer. With interest rates rising three times last year and slated to rise again this year, offering zero percent interest to buyers is getting more and more untenable because it comes at the cost of profit to the dealership. But it’s still around in many places to try to spur sales that have been sagging. So what’s happening is a situation where dealerships and automakers are trying to decide whether to try to keep selling more cars, or sell fewer cars at a higher profit. In any case, if you’re in the market for a new car and have great credit, now might be a good time to buy.

Vintage Restoration Business is Booming

For people more interested in used cars, it’s looking like manufacturers are hopping aboard the vintage car bandwagon to help their old vehicles stay on the road. Usually when cars are discontinued, parts continue to be made for a few years and then the molds for the pieces are all destroyed and effort goes into producing parts for newer cars. This makes it pretty tough if you have an old car you love and want to keep it on the road if parts keep breaking. You have to rely on third party manufacturers of dubious quality or get something custom made, which can be super expensive. Fortunately, the cost of custom making things keeps going down thanks to new technology like 3D printing. Porsche this week announced that they would use exactly that technology to start making replacement parts for the 959 and 356, among other old vehicles. They have started printing just eight parts that apparently go wrong a lot, but are open to expanding their range to include other pieces and you know they’re of good quality since they’re produced by the mothership.

Fiat Chrysler is getting into the vintage restoration business too, with their “Reloaded by Creators” initiative. Instead of manufacturing individual parts though, they’re taking in whole cars and rebuilding them from the ground up, then selling them to collectors. Aston Martin and Jaguar already have similar programs and while there may not be too many vintage Chryslers that warrant full restoration, there are plenty of old Alfa Romeos, Lancias and Fiat Abarths that are deserving of some factory TLC. Who knows, the Italians might have even learned a few things in the 40 years since most of these cars were produced but, based on current reliability ratings, I wouldn’t count on it.

UConnect, IBreak

I say that because those Italians are in the same company as Chrysler, a company that pushed out an over-the-air update to its UConnect infotainment system on Friday that sent many, many vehicles’ infotainment systems into an inescapable boot-loop that, for some, has yet to be resolved. Until it is, drivers can look forward to having no radio, no reverse camera and limited control over vehicle interior functions. Aren’t touchscreens and technology great!?

Porsche’s Mission E Possible

Over in Stuttgart, Porsche is making waves with news that their Mission E vehicle will charge its batteries in less than half the time that it takes a Tesla to charge, more closely mimicking the refueling time of gasoline cars. They’re taking the shade throwing to another level, calling their system “Turbo Charging” to one up Tesla’s Supercharging, in which I can only assume is the first stage of a one upsmanship battle that ends in all of us using Ultra-Extreme MegaCharging PowerVolt MaxWatt Stations. Porsche achieves the faster charge rate by doubling the output of chargers, up to 800 volts, which can’t just run through the same channels as 400 volt chargers. It requires a wholly different and more expensive infrastructure and a different structure to the batteries, meaning this tech would be exclusive to Porsche. This opens up a whole other conversation about charging technology standards. Already, there are four different standards of charging port; one endorsed by the German automakers and Ford, one for Tesla, one from the Japanese automakers and one for China, which has by far the biggest lead in developing an EV infrastructure. What this likely means is that we’re going to wind up having to carry around a trunk full of adapters or that recharging stations will need to provide different plugs to suit different vehicles. Unless politicians want to get involved and try to pick one, but that would require regulations, and who needs those, right!?

Drowsy Driving Debate

Depending on who you ask, drowsy driving can be just as dangerous as drunk driving, or it could be just a minor thing that doesn’t have an appreciable impact on traffic safety. The National Highway Transportation Safety Administration is in the latter camp, with research indicating that only 2.5% of fatal crashes are the result of driving tired, but a new study from AAA indicates that up to 10.8% of crashes with moderate to severe damage could be caused by a lack of sleep. In their study, AAA put cameras in front of more than 3,500 drivers to track if crashes were the result of drowsy driving, which is how they wound up at almost 11%. The thing is, these drivers knew they were being watched and should have been incentivized to be on their best behavior, and yet still many drove tired and crashed. Plus AAA threw out any instances where they couldn’t see the faces of drivers more than 75% of the time, like if the driver was wearing sunglasses or if their hands were obscuring the camera, so the real numbers could be much higher than the data suggests.

On the heels of that study, Uber has rolled out a “feature” that limits drivers to a maximum of 12 hour shifts behind the wheel. The update will not permit drivers to accept new fares for six hours after working for 12 hours straight. Meanwhile, the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration mandates that all truckers carrying passengers work no more than ten straight hours and take at least 8 hours off between shifts. Not to mention it has stricter requirements for drivers to obtain licenses to transport passengers. I get that the current trend is to damn all regulations and let the free market reign supreme, but beyond a certain point, we have to accept that some regulations have been put in place for the safety of consumers and that they shouldn’t be overturned or ignored or loopholed simply because regulations are bad. Uber and Lyft and other ride sharing companies cut some red tape and provide people with jobs, which is great, and I wholeheartedly support the gig economy, but by consistently flaunting the rules applied to other sectors, they walk a risky path that could lead to even tighter regulations for everyone.

 Waymo vs. Uber Settles, We All Move On Unhappy

Speaking of Uber, news came out that they settled their lawsuit with Google’s self-driving company Waymo for a cool $245 million this week, which is sort of anti-climactic because we don’t get a real “winner” in the battle for self-driving supremacy, as a jury wasn’t able to weigh in on the situation. What we get instead is a muddled non-admission from Uber that they stole trade secrets and an acceptance from Waymo that what they stole wasn’t worth more than $245 million minus attorney’s fees. So as Uber’s apology tour for their various misdeeds continues, they can at least cross “stealing from our competitors” off the list.

 Magic Cool Bus

Every year, the battle is usually between the Honda Accord and Honda Civic for which is the most stolen car, and for good reason. Whenever you see either car, you probably think “there’s a reasonable sedan driven by someone who bought based on a rich history of automotive reliability,” not “there’s a thieving criminal trying to lay low until he can get this baby to the chop shop.” Just like when you see a school bus, you think “there’s a municipal vehicle on the way to or from picking up children to advance their education.” But when you see a school bus hauling ass down a residential road at 3 AM, maybe you start thinking something else, and that’s precisely what happened to a police officer in Trotwood, Ohio. After following the bus for a while, the officer tried pulling it over for a traffic violation, which initiated what few would call a very high speed chase, but a chase enough that police called it off because it was getting too dangerous. And they were right to because the bus crashed not long after on a home’s front lawn. There, police arrested a couple of guys who had been sleeping in the big, yellow, very conspicuous, very poor getaway car.

Ontario’s Rich Police

In other crime news, police in Ontario, Canada have purchased a Tesla Model X police cruiser, which has not gone over too well with taxpayers. The Model X starts at more than $100,000 Canadian and then had to be customized with light bars and the various other things that differentiate cop cars from normal vehicles, so it was likely a very expensive publicity stunt. Criminals, on the other hand, are probably thrilled since they just need to find a getaway car with a range greater than 300 miles. Even if they get caught, there’s no guarantee the finicky falcon doors on the Model X will work to put them in. It was, however, probably a better buy than a Model 3, because the department would still be waiting until 2019 to get it and even then the criminals might be able to escape through some of the car’s panel gaps.

Money Doesn’t Buy Brains

Photo by Fellsmere Police

As a man who drives for about two hours every day in traffic, I don’t need more reason to believe that most people shouldn’t be allowed to drive. And yet, nearly every week, there’s a story that chips away at my already weathered opinion of my fellow drivers. This week’s example comes from Florida, and is truly as insanely stupid as a story from Florida should be. A man driving a fifteen year-old BMW X5 SUV called 911 to report that he was speeding and that his gas pedal was stuck and he was unable to slow down from the 100 miles per hour he had somehow achieved. BMW, however, are calling bullshit on the whole thing because the X5 uses floor-mounted pedals so there’s no way the pedal could’ve gotten stuck by a floor mat or other obstruction. Furthermore, the X5 is drive-by-wire, meaning there’s no physical connection between the gas pedal and the throttle and that the car’s computer cuts all throttle whenever the brake pedal is pushed. I’ll connect the dots here for you because this means that the man never pressed the brake pedal when trying to slow his car down, which sounds an awful lot like he was not at all trying to slow the car down. The 911 operator even tried offering him some tips like shifting into neutral, turning the car off or gently applying the parking brake to bring the vehicle to a stop. All of these things were deemed ridiculous by the idiot man who claimed his car might spin out if he did any of them. So how’d they end up stopping him? Spike strips. Spike strips which he swerved to avoid the first time they tried. If you’re worried about spinning out your car, and spike strips and swerving seem like better options than shutting off your car, switching into neutral or applying your damn brake pedal, you should be banned from even riding in cars for the rest of your life. This man must be banished to walk. Welcome back to the caveman days buddy, you’ve earned it.

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines & New Cars for the Week of January 15th, 2018

BMW’s Double Drift of Daring

This week, BMW reclaimed their Guinness World record for longest vehicle drift, which was taken from them by a Toyota GT86 almost four years ago. To do so, BMW set their new M5 out on a skidpad and let it rip. For eight. Straight. Hours. They covered a truly ridiculous 232.5 miles in that time period and required refueling, but did they stop to gas up? Hell no! BMW saddled up a second M5 with a custom fuel tank and some tech borrowed from fighter jets and performed a mid-drift refuelling, where the second M5 drifted alongside the first one while a technician hung out the window, gassing up the record car. They blew away their old record of 51.3 miles and more than doubled Toyota’s 89.6 miles and kept the rubber tires intact by continuously wetting the skidpad. Undoubtedly, this will drive hundreds of millionaires into BMW dealerships to purchase M5s so they can try to recreate it in their lavish circular private driveways.

World Rally Championship Will Do It Live

Racing has been kind of on a bummer streak lately. Formula 1 had the fewest passes ever this past season, the World Endurance Championship keeps losing teams due to high costs, Forumla E is still kind of a joke and IMSA, which is looking really good, is hard to find. Well good news, sports fans, because the World Rally Championship has launched a WRC All Live package on their WRC+ service that will stream every single rally stage as it happens, along with the ceremonies, interviews and press conferences, among other things. In total, it’ll be more than 25 hours of live video coverage of every rally. It’s not free, unfortunately, and at $10.83 per month or about $110 per year, it’s not cheap, especially considering many of these live stages happen in the middle of the night for us here in North America. But pound-for-pound, rallying is some of the most exciting, entertaining racing you can watch. The only danger is that you’re going to get hooked and start treating any gravel or dirt road as your own private stage when in fact it’s someone’s driveway and they’d like very much if you’d get your stupid Subaru out of their bushes so they can go to work, thank you. 

Diners, Drive-Ins and Distractions

Just when we thought it was over. Just when we thought Elon Musk and Tesla could cool the hype machine and have a real conversation about the bottlenecks in production and challenges of building a car company from the ground up. Just when a very real satellite malfunction may have cost the US Government billions of dollars aboard a SpaceX rocket. Just when shit was getting a little too real, Elon Musk resorted to what he knows best - the rabbit in a hat trick. He tweeted this week that he’s “gonna put an old school drive-in, roller skates and rock restaurant" at one of the new Tesla Supercharger locations in LA. And you know who will care? The same number of people showing up to Rams games in LA. AND THAT’S NOBODY. That being said, there was a super cool video this week of a Tesla Model X towing a Volvo semi truck up a snowy hill, which is crazy to think it’s capable of doing that, given its max tow rating of just 5,000 pounds. I also saw my first Model 3 on the highway yesterday morning and it looks like a cross between the egg-shaped Model X and the svelte Model S, which is to say I didn’t like it very much.

Toyota & Mazda to Colonize the Deep South

Toyota and Mazda pulled their own little LeBron James stunt this week except Alabama is in almost no way similar to South Beach Miami, which is probably a good thing, considering the companies plan on building Corollas and crossovers there and not...sand castles? What do they build in South Beach? Failed baseball franchises? In any case, the new $1.6 billion plant will open in Huntsville, which is a charming little town that’s about to get a lot of new manufacturing jobs to complement all the high tech industry that’s there already. Other than crossovers and compact vehicles, we don’t have much information on what Toyota and Mazda will collaborate on there, but I look forward to the chance to interview some Japanese businessmen who have developed southern accents.

Dieselgate, Down on the Farm

A class action lawsuit was filed this week against Ford and Bosch, alleging that emissions defeat devices were installed in diesel F250 and F350 trucks, causing them to produce 50 times more nitrogen oxide than legally permitted. Sound familiar? Well, Bosch was allegedly the company behind Volkswagen’s diesel cheating as well and we saw how that turned out for them. Unfortunately for Ford, half a million of these trucks have been sold from 2011 to 2017 and could be subject to this lawsuit and to recall. In the lawsuit, the plaintiffs allege that the Ford Super Duty pickups would have been better off called Super Dirty, thereby proving that lawyers are not completely devoid of humor, just devoid of good humor. We’ll see how this plays out for Ford and if they’ll be on the hook for billions like VW was when they got caught.

Takata Recalls Expand, Again. Again.

In other stories that just won’t die, Takata announced this week an expansion of their airbag inflater recalls, adding 3.3 million cars to the list, just in America, making it the largest of its kind. The cars range from Audis, BMWs, Jaguars, Land Rovers and Mercedes Benzes all the way to Fords, Subarus, Mitsubishis, Hondas, Mazdas and Fiat Chrysler cars. So everyone, please get these replaced if you receive a notice, because they do kill people. I’m less worried about the Fiat Chyrsler owners though, because a car has to be running to hit something and have the airbag go off and “running” isn’t really one of their strong suits.

A New Dealership Experience

A Rolls-Royce showroom in London will be the first location to feature the new Elysium-R. The $51,500 masterpiece features near-black pure aniline leather, an almond gold frame and will be limited to only 18 production units. It’s also a not a car, but actually just a chair. But it’s a really fancy chair that neutralizes gravity, implementing flotation theory, whatever that means. Also its gel-filled armrests are supposedly meant to mimic the quality of human skin, because everyone knows that rich people love nothing more than to rest their arms on the skin of the under-folk. This is apparently the product of years of research into human kinetics, which sounds an awful lot like some rich kid spent a few years sitting around and his rich dad told him to get off his ass and do something, so he made a chair.

Bad News for Turkwomen

Do you like driving? Are you from Turkmenistan? Are you a woman? Well shit news, you can’t drive anymore, honey. That’s according to their certifiably insane president Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, who last week banned all black cars because he thought they were unlucky. What’s his reasoning for banning women? Just some good, old-fashioned misogyny! Naturally he thinks pretty much all of the car crashes in the country are caused by or because of women, so banning them from the roads entirely, in his words, “rectifies the situation.” The ban was actually announced in December but has started getting implemented this week, with women drivers being stopped and having their licenses and cars seized by the government. Look, I’m sure Turkmenistan isn’t a shithole, but they sure do have a shithead for a president. You know you’re backwards when Saudi Arabia looks more progressive than you do.

Beetles Belong in Junkyards, not Trees

Photo by Scott Sommerdorf of The Salt Lake Tribune

In other bad news for ladies, a woman in Clearfield City, Utah is going to be charged with a misdemeanor if she doesn’t remove her nuisance vehicle. The problem is, that vehicle is a 1973 Volkswagen Beetle that doesn’t run. Oh, and it’s also in a tree. Since it didn’t run, the owner, Janis Zettel, decided the right thing to do wasn’t to send it to the junkyard, but rather to paint it like a ladybug and have it chained up in a great big old tree as a fun little whimsical effort to put smiles on the faces of children. You hear that, Clearfield City? Think of the children! She even had an arborist check it out to make sure it was safe and that the car wouldn’t bring down the tree and harm anyone. I’m sure her neighbors love it, but hey, there are probably other houses in Clearfield City they can move to, the damn grinches.

 

New Cars

Ginetta G650-LT-P1

British company Ginetta unveiled this week their G650-LT-P1, or G60 for short, and it’s a non-hybrid race car that they intend to race in the LeMans Prototype 1 category, which finally gives Toyota’s unreliable hybrid racer at least one competitor for the upcoming season! Or, well, at least part of it because Ginetta is only fielding two or maybe three cars if they can find the money, and they’re only committing to a “super series” of eight races beginning in May. And by only eight races, I mean holy shit, this is a small British manufacturer who has somehow scrounged up the pounds to compete with the world’s largest auto manufacturer at arguably the highest level of motor racing. Good for Ginetta and good for us because this’ll be interesting to watch!

Ford Edge ST

In less than 24 hours, Ford teased, and then released all the details of the forthcoming Edge ST, which will now not debut at the Detroit Auto Show, but instead on your computer monitors or, more likely, your iPhone screen. Clearly their marketing department doesn’t really understand the concept of building “hype,” because they kind of did the same thing with the new Ford GT, which was arguably a much bigger deal. They could, for once, take a lesson from Elon Musk. 

In any case, Ford’s prior ST cars include the Focus and Fiesta, which were fast, nimble little hatchbacks that were available only in manual transmission form for real driving purists, and they were apparently really good fun! Well, Ford has decided that crossover enthusiasts who never learned how to drive a stick deserve to have fun too, because they’ve basically taken the Ford Edge Sport and given it more sport, pumping its 2.7 litre EcoBoost four cylinder up to 335 horsepower and 350 foot pounds of torque routed through all four wheels. It looks and will probably drive a lot like a lifted WRX wagon, which is not a bad thing, so I’m actually on board with this idea. Yes, I generally oppose the concept of crossovers, but they don’t have to be boring and bad and kudos to Ford for trying to raise the bar that Infiniti set with their FX.

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

These headlines originally aired in the AllWaysDrive Podcast. Subscribe now and hear all the latest news and reviews!