Headlines for the Week of June 11th, 2018

Daimler Defeat Devices Doom Diesels

In Germany this week, Transport Minister Andreas Scheuer made like a middle school principal and called Daimler CEO Dieter Zietsche to his office. On Monday, he asked a sheepish Zietsche if he know how exactly five cheating devices were found in new Mercedes diesel engines. Of course Dieter claimed he had no knowledge of such a thing and that it was his classmate Martin Winterkorn over at Volkswagen who was the cheater! Well, said Principal Scheuer, he didn’t believe that, but he did believe that Daimler had put defeat devices in as many as one million recent Mercedes cars to try to skirt the Euro 6 emissions standards and that, to make things right, Dieter would have to do the equivalent of resubmitting his homework. Which in automotive terms is recalling 774,000 of their latest model diesels. All joking aside, these cars were probably designed after Volkswagen’s dieselgate scandal came to light, so just how was it Daimler thought they were going to get away with this? And how far does this dieselgate rabbit hole go? The more they cheat, the more it seems like diesel cannot be made clean and really has no future.

Tesla Drops Employees, Props Autopilot

Just one week, I’d love to go through Feedly, which is an RSS reader I use to aggregate my news and think, “oh wow, not a single notable thing about Tesla this week, I guess their 5,000 vehicle production rate is humming along smoothly.” Sadly, that was not this week and they remain the brand mentioned more than any other on my and most websites.

First, some lawsuits; one from an employee who alleges he was fired after he expressed concerns about workplace safety, and another who claims he was ousted after expressing interest in joining a union. Both are crimes, both will probably be settled to nobody’s satisfaction, and both have been denied by the company. Why cover this? Because such rumors have been floating around for a long time and the more we hear about them, the more it seems Tesla has a toxic culture of secrecy, cover-ups and anti-union sentiment, which is a problem when it comes to protecting workers’ rights and well being. Also because no other company is having this sort of problem, at least not visibly.

Then came the news that Tesla is laying off nine percent of their workforce in an effort to streamline efficiency and gain better profitability, which is to say “any profitability at all.” It sounds like the cuts will come primarily from salaried positions because they need all hands on deck for the production of their vehicles. Despite planning factories in Shanghai and Europe, Musk still claims he won’t have to raise any new capital and that the company will be profitable by the third or fourth quarter of this year, so this culling is probably critical to getting there or close.

Finally, hot on the heels of a report from the Association of British Insurers and Thatcham Research indicated that calling vehicles “autonomous” led to dangerous grey areas and driver over-reliance on technology, Tesla announced that they will begin rolling out full self-driving features this August. Details are scarce (as they are on the fact that the next Roadster will apparently have rocket thrusters), but if there’s one thing that’s certain, it’s that people are too dumb for this technology. If you hear the word “autonomous” and you immediately stop listening to anything else and immediately start thinking that cars are going to do everything for you, you should not be allowed as a passenger in a car, let alone driving. Seriously, hop on a train.

Toyota Drops Cool Bill on Grab

Any time a car maker spends a billion dollars, it’s going to get some attention, and that’s just what Toyota did this week when it took a stake in Singapore’s Grab Holdings, which is Southeast Asia’s largest car hailing service, a company that drove Uber out of their home markets. That Toyota had to spend so much to buy in indicates not only the growing value of ride sharing, but the view among car companies that they think that traditional vehicle ownership is going to be majorly disrupted by car sharing and autonomous ride hailing services. Toyota’s big cash drop means they’ll get a seat on Grab’s board of directors, which analysts say almost guarantees that Grab will start buying Toyota cars for its service. As they say, you gotta spend money to make money, and with $54 billion in cash laying around, I’d say Toyota has some they can spend! Toyota has increased partnerships and investments in a bunch of automotive disruption companies that focus on ride hailing, ride sharing, electric vehicles and autonomous cars, so they are hedging their bets that one or more of those is going to take off and they’ll be well-positioned to take advantage. Once more, Ford should be taking note of how Toyota does business before they have to kill off their entire passenger car production because they didn’t plan well enough.

Autonomous Vehicles will be SO GREAT

Even though autonomous cars aren’t very good right now, they won’t always be glorified assisted driving systems. According to a report by Security America’s Future Energy, autonomous vehicles will be so great for everyone and will lead to an incredible $796 billion in total annual benefits by 2050. This comes from congestion mitigation and economic impact as well as the totally super easy to quantify “quality of life improvements.” It also means cost cutting for taxis and truckers since those hundreds of thousands or millions of jobs will be taken over by robots, and it’s like you always hear those people who lose their jobs to robots say, “but my quality of life is so much better now that I’m unemployed.” This report is full of bogus or at the very least dubious data and projections, including safety because, as we’ve been learning lately, safety isn’t exactly guaranteed by autonomous vehicles. Maybe by 2050 they’ll have it all figured out. That’s only 32 years or so from now.

Food in Fords Making Moves in Miami

Speaking of autonomous vehicles, when Ford isn’t buying old train stations in Detroit to slap their logo on, they’re building customized Ford Transit Connects to act as Postmates food delivery vehicles in Miami. The small vans will be equipped with curbside lockers to hold food, which will be placed in the car by the restaurant after a customer places an order through the app. The food will then be taken to the customer who will receive a locker number and code to unlock the locker. Car arrives, customer gets food, and we all move on with our lives without having to make polite small talk with the delivery person while you try to decide how generous you will be with the tip. In the wake of vacating sedan and small car sales, Ford may be jumping in with both feet on this “autonomous mobility” movement sector and this pilot project could help inform systems and layout for an entirely food delivery-focused vehicle sometime in the future. I look forward to the Domino’s Transit that will cook my pizza while it’s on the way to my house. I don’t mind having to cut it because it’s not like the people at the store actually do it worth a damn anyway.

China Proves U.S. IS Not so Bad

Starting on July 1st of this year, China will be rolling out a voluntary system by which all new cars will have RFID chips placed on the windshield of vehicles, thereby allowing the Chinese government to use its dense network of surveillance technology to track you wherever you go. If you’re thinking, “well at least it’s voluntary,” starting in 2019, it won’t be anymore, and all of those 30 million or so new cars sold in the world’s largest car market every year will be equipped with these chips. China already has a number of surveillance systems, including incredible facial recognition technology, in place that use artificial intelligence to track criminals and shame people with high debts or for petty shit like jaywalking, so this is just another way of maintaining social control, and probably another way in which China can expand its incredibly creepy social rating system. While it sounds like this is yet another step on China’s journey into a dystopian nightmare, bear in mind that we all carry around cell phones equipped with RFIDs, so this could already be happening in the U.S. without your knowledge.

Dieselgate Can’t Stop Won’t Stop

Despite beginning in 2015, here we are three years later and Volkswagen is still dealing with the consequences of their diesel cheating scandal or “dieselgate.” They set aside 28.5 billion Euro to cover the sprawling fines and lawsuits stemming from their inability to make clean diesels that won’t kill us with excess carbon pollution, but just this week they were hit with another one billion euro fine from the German government for the same scandal. The Germans’ investigation was apparently much more exhaustive than the one we had here in the U.S. because it took way longer, but also resulted in lower fines. Add to this the fact that former owners of cheating diesel cars in Vermont and Arizona will receive $1,000 for the hassle of having to turn their cars back in and this thing only gets more expensive for Volkswagen.  In any case, they have to be getting close to putting this whole thing behind them. Just too bad the millions of people in Europe who will likely die early from inhaling those diesel fumes won’t be able to. SAD!

Fishy Filings Could Trouble Toyota

For the last…ever, people and politicians have been saying “where are the jobs?” and this year, Toyota and Mazda came through, committing to spend $1.6 billion on a new plant in Alabama, where everyone was super happy to greet them. Well, almost everyone, because the Center for Biological Diversity has been saying for years, “what about the fish?” Specifically, the Spring Pygmy Sunfish, which is a rare species and could theoretically be driven to extinction by the construction of the factory and the various infrastructure and activities around it. In a lawsuit filed this week, the Center alleges there hasn’t been enough legal protection for the fish’s only known habitat near the factory location, and they’re hoping to get the Fish and Wildlife Service to make some special efforts to protect the important characteristics of the apparently critical habitat. All this for a small striped fish that rarely exceeds an inch in length and has already been presumed extinct twice before someone found one living somewhere. But being the relative conservationist that I am, it strikes me that it can’t be that hard to accommodate some small fish, plus what if there’s like a butterfly effect where if this fish dies, Elon Musk never colonizes mars? Talk about a disaster.

Fuel Economy Matters, but Does it Really?

A new study released this week by Consumers Union and sent to me by AllWaysDrive Blog minion Jordan revealed that, among 19 popular vehicle features, almost 1,900 drivers chose purchase cost, reliability, safety and fuel economy as their top four most important, in that order. The researchers also asked study participants which vehicle they would prefer and participants generally chose options that cost 25% more but increased reliability, safety, and fuel economy. Less important were acceleration and performance, which surely indicates that this study polled the wrong people. Setting aside the fact that the study’s sample size was relatively small compared with the total car buying public, this isn’t really reflective of reality, with the average cost of cars climbing and the average fuel economy of new cars sold actually decreasing since mid-2014 with the booming sales of SUVs and crossovers. So there’s obviously a disconnect between what consumers say they want in an ideal car and what they actually end up buying. Go figure that people can’t be trusted to tell the truth!

Cars Drivers Drive the Least

If you’ve looked on the app Autolist for a car, which I highly recommend you do, you’ve probably seen a bunch of “online only” results from a company called Carvana, which will deliver vehicles to your door in a sort of backwards dealership kind of situation. Well, they also come up with lists, apparently, and after analyzing more than 1.6 million automotive sales from January through May of this year, they’ve come up with a list of vehicles they say get driven the least each year. In the top 15, you get your regular list of high class Mercedes and BMWs that are someone’s “treat yoself” vehicle when they’re not driving their ’94 Ford Ranger back and forth to work, and the same go with the Sunday cars like the Maserati Ghibli, Lexus RC, M4 and sure, even the Volkswagen Beetle. Also on the list are the Nissan Leaf and BMW i3, which people don’t drive because of range anxiety and the Smart ForTwo which people don’t drive because it’s crap. But there are cars on the list like the Mini Cooper, VW Golf Sportwagen and Buick Encore, which are just sort of normal cars. Why are you not driving your Buick Encores, people? Is it because you’re tired of people asking “oh, that’s a Buick?” But leading the list are the Porsche 911 and Chevy Corvette, which are driven just 4,700 and 4,500 miles per year on average, which is just a crying shame because they are both some of the best cars to drive. You stupid collectors are ruining everything!

Fifth Gear Returns this Fall

After the bummer news last week that Matt LeBlanc was leaving Top Gear after his third season, we got a boost this week with the news that competing show Fifth Gear would be returning this fall, with old hosts and top blokes Tiff Needell and Jason Plato once again hosting after a three year hiatus. Fifth Gear never had the budget of Top Gear, didn’t do the crazy stunts and always focused less on the antics of three weird oldies instead of the cars themselves, which was always attractive to the real car nerds out there, even if it was a bit tougher to get the significant others interested. As I mentioned when the old Top Gear crew left for the Grand Tour, more car shows will never be a bad thing and, even if Vicki Butler-Henderson doesn’t return, I’m going to try to find a way to tune in here in the States, and so should you.

Ford Files Patent for Existing Thing

When they’re not buying train stations, delivering Miami’s to-go-orders or killing off popular vehicle models, Ford is busy filing patent applications for silly things that have existed for decades. Recently, the company applied for a patent for a screen that drops from a car’s tailgate to provide a privacy curtain. One could imagine this being especially handy at the beach for changing out of a swimsuit before hopping back into the car or for doing your business while out in the woods or when overcome with a sudden case of bowel evacuation syndrome because you ate curry for lunch and you knew it was risky but decided dammit, Darryl, just go for it. In any case, these screens have been around for years and you can buy them on Amazon if you’re the type of person who chooses not to think about if someone could just look through the windshield and see you despite the privacy curtain. The difference here is that they will apparently be built into the tailgate instead of being an add-on you purchase separately. There’s also a variant that deploys into an awning, basically giving you a shady spot to sit behind your car on sunny days. Plus, with the fact that the Mustang will be the only Ford vehicle without a hatchback or tailgate, this means they could apply it to almost every single car in their U.S. lineup! Hooray for small victories? 

Infrastructure, Now with Stuffed Crust

After so many campaign promises by so many politicians to address the country’s crumbling infrastructure, we are finally starting to see some progress being made. Oh, wait, did you think the government was doing something? Oh, no, sorry. We can’t even get a coherent trade policy. The entity currently working on restoring our roads is actually Domino’s Pizza. Under the guise of creating a smoother ride for their delivery vehicles so our pizzas don’t arrive in a jumbled mess, Domino’s is fixing potholes from California to Texas to Delaware and, after paving over the road canyons, painting them with a very tasteful Domino’s logo and their tagline, “Oh yes we did.” Yes, this is a publicity stunt and yes it’s working but hell no, I don’t mind driving over Domino’s logos in the streets instead of feeling the jarring crash of a six-inch deep pothole and wondering if my wheel has bent so much I won’t make it home. Oh yes you did, Domino’s, because oh no, our elected officials can’t.

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines & New Cars for the week of January 22nd, 2018

Arbeit Macht Schwer

In case you thought the US was the only country with labor relations issue, here comes Germany to reassure us that we're not so different. Factory workers at Audi and Porsche plants have gone on strike to support demands of a six percent raise and the right to ask for a reduction in hours from 35 to just 28 so they can do things like care for children or the elderly for a couple of years, then return to work full time. In response to the union’s demands, employers have apparently offered a two percent raise, a one-time only “bonus” of two hundred Euro, and flat out refused to consider the reduced hours point. As they say, misery loves company, so I’m happy to see the rich American tradition of overwork and underpay is starting to catch on across the world. It makes me feel slightly less guilty for not working in France or Norway.

Geld Macht Spaß

Last year we covered the launch of the Porsche Passport Pilot Program, or as nobody calls it, Quadruple P. Well, they have some early numbers to report based on the program in Atlanta and signs are good for the brand, with 78% of participants having never owned a Porsche before. The company envisions this as just one way buyers can experience Porsche ownership, and they anticipate about 30% of buyers will purchase vehicles online in the next couple of years. Mercedes-Benz is thinking similarly, estimating that 25% of their new and used sales will come from the internet by 2025. But back to Porsche Passport - they also say it’s reaching a younger demographic, though they don’t specify how young. Given the fact that most of the participants are opting for the higher-cost, $3,000 per month service, I can’t believe these people are that young. To be able to basically have $36,000 to spend on a car every single year in addition to housing costs, food and other things, it seems like you’d have to be doing pretty damn well for yourself, which generally takes a few years. Or, in some of our cases, not at all. 

We Really Did Forget Dieselgate

After a disastrous 2015 and '16 where they were found to be using defeat devices to circumvent global emissions laws in their diesel cars, Volkswagen spent most of 2017 trying their absolute hardest to help buyers forget about dieselgate. A lot of this included generous discounts, goodwill campaigns and reinvestment in popular vehicles, not to mention the rebirth of the Microbus as the I.D. Buzz. Turns out, all that work paid off and buyers around the world pretty much did forget and stepped right back in line to snatch up new Volkswagens. What makes it more incredible is that, while the industry as a whole was down last year from 2016, Volkswagen recorded record sales, increasing 4.2% verses the year prior. And while the rest of the industry braces for more stagnating sales, VW sales chief Juergen Stackmann is optimistic, expecting sales to continue to rise in 2018. Based on the popularity of the gigantic Atlas, the compact Tiguan twins and the attractive Arteon, as well as the deal I was able to strike on a leftover 2017, it looks like their aggressive measures may be pretty effective!

Infiniti’s Shocking Moves

Meanwhile in Japan, Infiniti also had a great year, increasing sales eleven percent over 2016, but they’re still very much playing catch up to the German, English and Swedish luxury brands. Their plans to overtake their competition hinges primarily on electrification, as Nissan CEO Hiroto Saikawa explained this week. All new Infinitis launched after 2021 will be all-electric or will be range-extended hybrids, but not in the conventional sense. The company’s technology called ePower uses a gasoline motor to recharge the battery in its range extended hybrids, but that gas motor doesn’t drive the wheels at all. And there’s no plug-in feature. So the propulsion is entirely electric and the power generation entirely gas. It’s a weird setup, and especially considering Infiniti’s recently-announced variable compression engine, a strange change of approach to try to lure buyers. Then again, it could be a great solution for buyers without a garage or access to plug-in locations. 

Acura Wants to be Exciting Again

In addition to announcing the new 2019 RDX, Acura dropped a bombshell on the Detroit Auto Show, announcing the return of Type-S and A-Spec brands. For the uninitiated, Type-S is a high trim level applied to Acura models that are especially fast and good handling, and it was last used ten years ago on the TL sedan, but was famously applied to the RSX and Integra coupes, which were a ton of fun to drive. A-Spec is another trim level more focused on comfort, style and refinement than outright speed, so it’s somewhat less exciting, but no less important to buyers. The bombshell, however, was kind of a dud because they didn’t announce which models would get which trim levels or if they’d be bringing back an actually affordable fun car. It’s like Honda has this caged lunatic who wants fun cars and they let it out just a little bit at a time because if they let it off the leash completely, we’d end up with cars enthusiasts like and that’s just too much for them.

France Wants to be Less Exciting

People keep dying on French roads, with increases over the past three years after steady decreases going back as far as 1972. In response, France is lowering the speed limit on most of their highways by ten kilometers per hour, so the fastest you will be able to legally drive in France is just 56 miles per hour, rendering the fairly standard 0-60 calculations pretty useless. To their credit, the French don’t attribute all the deaths just to speed alone and have tightened regulations on cell phone use and drunk driving. This comes as road deaths are up also in Britain and the United States, illustrating a disturbing trend that I think must be attributed to cell phone usage. When I was hit a couple of weeks ago, I was lucky to come away uninjured and the other driver offered no excuse for why he ran a red light that had been red for at least seven seconds. Based on the Uber and Lyft stickers in his window though, I guessed that he was trying to find a fare. I wouldn’t go so far as to say those ride sharing companies are complicit in the wreck that has cost me days worth of time fighting with insurance companies and trying to find a new car, but the sooner we can integrate smart features into a car so drivers need look at their phones less, the better. 

BMW to Charge for Not Their Service

BMW, though, has a different idea of how to integrate phones into cars and that involves squeezing its drivers for every penny they can get, like little Bavarian weasels, hiding away all their nuts. But the truth is, the nuts aren’t even theirs! Or maybe the tree isn’t. This is a bad metaphor. BMW wants to charge a subscription fee for Apple’s CarPlay software, which they currently have as a $300 option when you buy a new car. By charging $80 per year after the first year, which is free, they argue that you pay less if you only keep the car a few years, which I guess most BMW owners do because they want to be seen driving a new BMW. The issue here is that more than 400 models of car come with Android Auto and almost as many come with Apple’s CarPlay, but it’s included in the price and not an option you have to add in later. Hell, you can buy a Toyota Corolla or VW Jetta and get these features for free, but you don’t with BMW. It’s like how fancy hotels make you pay for WiFi when you get it for free at Best Western. Why? Because the fancy hotels know you have the money to pay for it. Okay, that was a better metaphor.

Taking Crashes to New Heights

In Santa Ana, California this week, a driver managed to launch his Nissan Altima into the second story of a dental office, using a raised center media as a sweet ramp for the epic Dukes of Hazzard-style flying act. The driver, who was apparently high as a kite, was able to exit the car and hang by the door until police came and literally caught him. He and his two passengers were injured and taken to the hospital where they had some serious coming down to do. 

Photo by Southern Counties News

Tackling Terrible Truckers

From bad drivers to bad truckers, we’re headed back to England, where the Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency, or DVSA, announced the findings of a 4,000 vehicle roadside test. They found that one in 13 trucks on British roads were fitted with an emissions cheat device that give false emissions readings, allowing the truck better performance while drastically increasing pollution. If this sounds familiar, it should because it seems like there’s this type of story every week, it just usually involves auto manufacturers getting caught doing it, not truck drivers who are looking to skirt the law. A representative of the DVSA, Gareth Llewellyn said, “we’re committed to taking dangerous lorries off Britain’s roads. We won’t hesitate to take action against these drivers, operators and vehicles.” Unfortunately for Gareth, when trucks were found with defeat devices, drivers were given ten days to fix the problem or pay a £300 fine, which sounds an awful lot like they’re hesitating to take action to me.

Have a Seat

Back here in America, our love for three row SUVs has apparently created quite a criminal enterprise, because there have been a rash of robberies - of just the third row seats from SUVs. Apparently, on most General Motors SUVs, like the Chevy Suburban, Tahoe and GMC and Cadillac Siblings, if you’re able to pop open the rear glass on the lift gate, the alarm on the car doesn’t go off. Once inside, the third row can simply be unhooked and then passed out the open hatch. And who is buying all these third rows to make stealing them such a popular endeavor? If you guessed “people who have had their third rows stolen,” you’d be right. It’s tempting to victim blame here and say “just park in a garage or back in so the back glass isn’t so accessible,” but what’s the point of a car alarm if it’s not going to alarm you when someone is stealing something from it? Come on, GM, this is on you.

AI Coming Along Swimmingly

While Google and Amazon work to integrate their digital assistants into more and more new cars, Nissan is going a sort of different direction with their own artificial intelligence. Instead of a female voice, Nissan’s Xmotion Concept features a koi fish as a virtual assistant that swims across the myriad interior screens to provide drivers assistance with, well, driving, as well as entertainment and navigation. It’ll also connect with the driver’s smartphone to share information between it and the car. And in case you’re thinking this is some sort of anthropomorphized Admiral Ackbar-looking fish, no, it’s just a normal koi fish, and I think it’s neat and more companies should think outside the pond when coming up with virtual assistants.

SUV Free and Happy to Be

While Ferrari and Lamborghini rush to catch up with Bentley and Porsche on the super-expensive SUV craze, McLaren is pretty content just where they are, thank you very much. The company’s chief designer, Dan Parry-WIlliams, told Top Gear magazine this week that “I’m not the first person to point out that an SUV is neither particularly sporty or utilitarian. It’s not ‘everything for a reason’ unless the reason is to clutter up the streets.” He’s referring there to McLaren’s design motto, “everything for a reason,” and it’s refreshing to see a company stick to its credo. Meanwhile, at fellow British sports car company Lotus, whose mantra, handed down from founder Colin Chapman was “Simplify and add lightness,” they’ll soon be launching their own SUV that will neither be simple nor light, though that may be said of their buyers. 

The (Frozen) Vaporware Car

Photo by Simon Laprise

In Montreal this week, someone had a good time at the expense of some local police, who attempted to ticket a snow-covered vintage Toyota Celica Supra that was parked in a snow removal lane, blocking in other parked cars. Upon lifting the very real windshield wiper to place the ticket, the police officer discovered that the wiper arm wasn’t attached to anything because the entire car was simply a pile of snow molded into the shape of a Supra. The whole thing was the brainchild of a French Canadian artist named Simon Laprise, who found the windshield wiper on the street and placed it on the car for maximum confusion. As for the ticket issued? The citation read “You made our night, hahahahaha” or whatever the French word for laughter is.

New Cars

Jeep Grand Commander

Detroit might make a great place to launch a new Jeep, but that’s just what Jeep hasn't done this week, when images of a new three-row SUV leaked to the media. It seems every company is scrambling to get an SUV with three rows out there for all the families who insist that contorting yourself to wedge in between a door sill and the second row only to sit cross-legged on a tiny, barely-padded foldable bench seat is more dignified than just swallowing your pride and buying the mini-van you should be getting. And with regards to Jeep, they don’t currently have a third-row-capable SUV in their stable and haven’t since the mercy killing of the Commander in 2010. If you forgot the Jeep Commander existed, you’re not alone and you’re totally forgiven because it was horrible and ugly. But now we have had a look at the new Grand Commander, a seven seat SUV that is apparently a China-only vehicle. At least according to what we know about it right now. The new model borrows heavily from Jeep’s other products for styling, which is now a good thing and it looks pretty decent, so it’d be hard to believe Fiat Chrysler wouldn’t wise up and bring it over stateside at some point. Plus, starting at around $38,000, it’d fit right in with most of its contemporary competitors. Until we know if it’s coming here or not, I guess you’ll just have to buy the Honda Odyssey you should be getting anyway.

GM’s Autonomous Bolt

One of the biggest stories to come out of Detroit this week was General Motors’ launch of the all-autonomous Chevy Bolt. This is a big deal because GM is calling it the first pre-production car to be shown without a steering wheel or pedals, which I guess is accurate since we’ve definitely seen concepts without them before. While it’s ostensibly a major step forward in terms of the future of autonomous vehicles, indicating GM’s confidence that they have a car ready to go completely without human controls, it really doesn’t feel all that special. Just looking at the photos of the interior, which doesn’t have to cater to a driver anymore, it really just looks like they took the passenger’s side, went into Photoshop, copied, pasted and flipped it so the former driver’s side looks the same. That’s it. I mean, in a fully driverless car, you don’t even need a dashboard. Your displays can be anywhere, or everywhere! The seats could swivel or not even face forward, and yet here we are, with a Chevy Bolt where they just Control X’d the steering column and pedals. Congratulations GM on making the future of motoring so unappealing.
 
But thank god, Chevy wasn’t the only company exhibiting at this year’s North American International Auto Show. In fact, there were a ton of new vehicles. If you want to learn more, check out to my Auto Show Rap-Up from last week's podcast. 

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines & New Cars for the Week of January 15th, 2018

BMW’s Double Drift of Daring

This week, BMW reclaimed their Guinness World record for longest vehicle drift, which was taken from them by a Toyota GT86 almost four years ago. To do so, BMW set their new M5 out on a skidpad and let it rip. For eight. Straight. Hours. They covered a truly ridiculous 232.5 miles in that time period and required refueling, but did they stop to gas up? Hell no! BMW saddled up a second M5 with a custom fuel tank and some tech borrowed from fighter jets and performed a mid-drift refuelling, where the second M5 drifted alongside the first one while a technician hung out the window, gassing up the record car. They blew away their old record of 51.3 miles and more than doubled Toyota’s 89.6 miles and kept the rubber tires intact by continuously wetting the skidpad. Undoubtedly, this will drive hundreds of millionaires into BMW dealerships to purchase M5s so they can try to recreate it in their lavish circular private driveways.

World Rally Championship Will Do It Live

Racing has been kind of on a bummer streak lately. Formula 1 had the fewest passes ever this past season, the World Endurance Championship keeps losing teams due to high costs, Forumla E is still kind of a joke and IMSA, which is looking really good, is hard to find. Well good news, sports fans, because the World Rally Championship has launched a WRC All Live package on their WRC+ service that will stream every single rally stage as it happens, along with the ceremonies, interviews and press conferences, among other things. In total, it’ll be more than 25 hours of live video coverage of every rally. It’s not free, unfortunately, and at $10.83 per month or about $110 per year, it’s not cheap, especially considering many of these live stages happen in the middle of the night for us here in North America. But pound-for-pound, rallying is some of the most exciting, entertaining racing you can watch. The only danger is that you’re going to get hooked and start treating any gravel or dirt road as your own private stage when in fact it’s someone’s driveway and they’d like very much if you’d get your stupid Subaru out of their bushes so they can go to work, thank you. 

Diners, Drive-Ins and Distractions

Just when we thought it was over. Just when we thought Elon Musk and Tesla could cool the hype machine and have a real conversation about the bottlenecks in production and challenges of building a car company from the ground up. Just when a very real satellite malfunction may have cost the US Government billions of dollars aboard a SpaceX rocket. Just when shit was getting a little too real, Elon Musk resorted to what he knows best - the rabbit in a hat trick. He tweeted this week that he’s “gonna put an old school drive-in, roller skates and rock restaurant" at one of the new Tesla Supercharger locations in LA. And you know who will care? The same number of people showing up to Rams games in LA. AND THAT’S NOBODY. That being said, there was a super cool video this week of a Tesla Model X towing a Volvo semi truck up a snowy hill, which is crazy to think it’s capable of doing that, given its max tow rating of just 5,000 pounds. I also saw my first Model 3 on the highway yesterday morning and it looks like a cross between the egg-shaped Model X and the svelte Model S, which is to say I didn’t like it very much.

Toyota & Mazda to Colonize the Deep South

Toyota and Mazda pulled their own little LeBron James stunt this week except Alabama is in almost no way similar to South Beach Miami, which is probably a good thing, considering the companies plan on building Corollas and crossovers there and not...sand castles? What do they build in South Beach? Failed baseball franchises? In any case, the new $1.6 billion plant will open in Huntsville, which is a charming little town that’s about to get a lot of new manufacturing jobs to complement all the high tech industry that’s there already. Other than crossovers and compact vehicles, we don’t have much information on what Toyota and Mazda will collaborate on there, but I look forward to the chance to interview some Japanese businessmen who have developed southern accents.

Dieselgate, Down on the Farm

A class action lawsuit was filed this week against Ford and Bosch, alleging that emissions defeat devices were installed in diesel F250 and F350 trucks, causing them to produce 50 times more nitrogen oxide than legally permitted. Sound familiar? Well, Bosch was allegedly the company behind Volkswagen’s diesel cheating as well and we saw how that turned out for them. Unfortunately for Ford, half a million of these trucks have been sold from 2011 to 2017 and could be subject to this lawsuit and to recall. In the lawsuit, the plaintiffs allege that the Ford Super Duty pickups would have been better off called Super Dirty, thereby proving that lawyers are not completely devoid of humor, just devoid of good humor. We’ll see how this plays out for Ford and if they’ll be on the hook for billions like VW was when they got caught.

Takata Recalls Expand, Again. Again.

In other stories that just won’t die, Takata announced this week an expansion of their airbag inflater recalls, adding 3.3 million cars to the list, just in America, making it the largest of its kind. The cars range from Audis, BMWs, Jaguars, Land Rovers and Mercedes Benzes all the way to Fords, Subarus, Mitsubishis, Hondas, Mazdas and Fiat Chrysler cars. So everyone, please get these replaced if you receive a notice, because they do kill people. I’m less worried about the Fiat Chyrsler owners though, because a car has to be running to hit something and have the airbag go off and “running” isn’t really one of their strong suits.

A New Dealership Experience

A Rolls-Royce showroom in London will be the first location to feature the new Elysium-R. The $51,500 masterpiece features near-black pure aniline leather, an almond gold frame and will be limited to only 18 production units. It’s also a not a car, but actually just a chair. But it’s a really fancy chair that neutralizes gravity, implementing flotation theory, whatever that means. Also its gel-filled armrests are supposedly meant to mimic the quality of human skin, because everyone knows that rich people love nothing more than to rest their arms on the skin of the under-folk. This is apparently the product of years of research into human kinetics, which sounds an awful lot like some rich kid spent a few years sitting around and his rich dad told him to get off his ass and do something, so he made a chair.

Bad News for Turkwomen

Do you like driving? Are you from Turkmenistan? Are you a woman? Well shit news, you can’t drive anymore, honey. That’s according to their certifiably insane president Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, who last week banned all black cars because he thought they were unlucky. What’s his reasoning for banning women? Just some good, old-fashioned misogyny! Naturally he thinks pretty much all of the car crashes in the country are caused by or because of women, so banning them from the roads entirely, in his words, “rectifies the situation.” The ban was actually announced in December but has started getting implemented this week, with women drivers being stopped and having their licenses and cars seized by the government. Look, I’m sure Turkmenistan isn’t a shithole, but they sure do have a shithead for a president. You know you’re backwards when Saudi Arabia looks more progressive than you do.

Beetles Belong in Junkyards, not Trees

Photo by Scott Sommerdorf of The Salt Lake Tribune

In other bad news for ladies, a woman in Clearfield City, Utah is going to be charged with a misdemeanor if she doesn’t remove her nuisance vehicle. The problem is, that vehicle is a 1973 Volkswagen Beetle that doesn’t run. Oh, and it’s also in a tree. Since it didn’t run, the owner, Janis Zettel, decided the right thing to do wasn’t to send it to the junkyard, but rather to paint it like a ladybug and have it chained up in a great big old tree as a fun little whimsical effort to put smiles on the faces of children. You hear that, Clearfield City? Think of the children! She even had an arborist check it out to make sure it was safe and that the car wouldn’t bring down the tree and harm anyone. I’m sure her neighbors love it, but hey, there are probably other houses in Clearfield City they can move to, the damn grinches.

 

New Cars

Ginetta G650-LT-P1

British company Ginetta unveiled this week their G650-LT-P1, or G60 for short, and it’s a non-hybrid race car that they intend to race in the LeMans Prototype 1 category, which finally gives Toyota’s unreliable hybrid racer at least one competitor for the upcoming season! Or, well, at least part of it because Ginetta is only fielding two or maybe three cars if they can find the money, and they’re only committing to a “super series” of eight races beginning in May. And by only eight races, I mean holy shit, this is a small British manufacturer who has somehow scrounged up the pounds to compete with the world’s largest auto manufacturer at arguably the highest level of motor racing. Good for Ginetta and good for us because this’ll be interesting to watch!

Ford Edge ST

In less than 24 hours, Ford teased, and then released all the details of the forthcoming Edge ST, which will now not debut at the Detroit Auto Show, but instead on your computer monitors or, more likely, your iPhone screen. Clearly their marketing department doesn’t really understand the concept of building “hype,” because they kind of did the same thing with the new Ford GT, which was arguably a much bigger deal. They could, for once, take a lesson from Elon Musk. 

In any case, Ford’s prior ST cars include the Focus and Fiesta, which were fast, nimble little hatchbacks that were available only in manual transmission form for real driving purists, and they were apparently really good fun! Well, Ford has decided that crossover enthusiasts who never learned how to drive a stick deserve to have fun too, because they’ve basically taken the Ford Edge Sport and given it more sport, pumping its 2.7 litre EcoBoost four cylinder up to 335 horsepower and 350 foot pounds of torque routed through all four wheels. It looks and will probably drive a lot like a lifted WRX wagon, which is not a bad thing, so I’m actually on board with this idea. Yes, I generally oppose the concept of crossovers, but they don’t have to be boring and bad and kudos to Ford for trying to raise the bar that Infiniti set with their FX.

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

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