Ford Finding it Hard to Figure it All Out

I’ve been talking about the stock market in my podcast recently, and it’s not because I’m some obnoxious MBA who loves illustrating the fact that I know what financial terms mean, in fact I don’t even own any stock outside of my 401k. But when car companies are publicly-owned, the products they make - the vehicles we get - are often a consequence of profit seeking for the sake of shareholder satisfaction. Now I’m going to try to not get too far into the weeds, but Moody’s, a service for investors, downgraded Ford from Baa2 to Baa3, which actually means like it sounds - baaaaaad. It’s a step above junk bond status, which may be a term you’ve heard that basically means if you invest in this stock, you are investing in junk and you should not expect to see a return.

So why, you’re saying, is this happening now, mere months after Ford made the decision to kill off all its cars and focus on more profitable vehicle segments in a transparent attempt to appease shareholders? Well, according to Moody’s, because of an “erosion in the company’s global business position and the challenges it will face implementing its Fitness Redesign program,” which is a nicer, fancier way of saying that Moody’s doesn’t believe Ford knows what they’re doing to right the ship. And there’s been a lot of news this week that might lead you to believe that Moody’s is exactly right.

If you’ll recall, when Ford announced that the U.S. would no longer receive any cars, they did qualify that by promising us a new Focus Active, which would be a jacked up hatchback similar to the Subaru XV Crosstrek. Well, what Ford didn’t count on when they made that announcement, was that Donald Trump was going to come in and slap a 25% tariff on cars made in China, which the Focus Active is. So guess what, America, no Focus Active for you, leaving the EcoSport as the most entry-level vehicles for U.S. consumers. The company says that it doesn’t think it’s going to be a huge deal because they were only likely to sell about 50,000 of them a year, which is still a lot. Considering that, through July, Ford has already sold more than 114,000 Focuses and Fiestas this year, I think maybe their target was a little low and that Ford may be seriously shooting themselves in the foot by giving up that many sales to GM, Honda, Toyota, Kia, Hyundai and basically every other car maker that has a vehicle in the compact and sub-compact segment.

Then the company came out and said they’ve reversed course on the Mondeo, which is the same car as the Fusion here in the U.S., saying they are not going to kill it off, but rather revamp it later this year because it’s a “core part” of their lineup. Uh, it wasn’t so core that just a few months ago you were ready to scrap it and move on to baby Broncos and Ranger Raptors! And if it’s important enough to get new powertrains, interior and exterior upgrades and enhancements to the hybrid range in Europe, why the hell would it not be worth trying that here, especially if they’re using the same basic car with the same basic safety features?! As of Monday, Ford has sold 97,800 Fusions in the U.S. this year, and I refuse to accept that there isn’t a way for the company to make more money with a mid-sized sedan that sells that many copies.

And then there’s the Mustang. Poor, sweet, simple Mustang. You’re the best ever version of yourself right now and, if the rumors are true, this is how I want to remember you. That’s because the rumors say that, in order to cull the number of platforms to just five, the next Mustang might share the same chassis as the Ford Explorer and Lincoln Aviator mid-sized crossovers. You know what other sports cars share their platform with crossovers? None! Ford, while not going far enough to confirm the rumors, did say that they would not “bastardize” the Mustang and that the next generation car would be just as Mustang-y as all previous generations, but let’s be clear: when you compromise on a vehicle’s platform for cost-cutting, you change the inherent character of the vehicle. No matter how much additional bracing you add, no matter what suspension bits you tack on, you’re still driving an Explorer that has been modified to become a Mustang. Add to that the fact that the next Shelby GT500 is allegedly not going to be available in a manual transmission and you can probably hear, if you listen closely enough, Mustang purists crying tears of pure 10W-30.

Finally, Ford announced, with much fanfare this week, the creation of the Enterprise Product Line Management group, a special committee that has been tasked with studying what customers want and then turning that information into creating more profitable, competitive vehicles. Uh, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that just what the entire freaking company should be doing? What is the purpose of a company if not to be making products that people want and then making money from that? Like what have you people been doing until this group was created? Was there an actual plan behind the killing off of all the passenger cars, and will this group have the ability to resurrect those vehicles if their market research indicates there’s a market for them? This team is apparently split into ten divisions: family utilities, urban utilities, rugged utilities, performance vehicles, luxury vehicles, compact trucks, F-Series, commercial vehicles, electric vehicles, and emerging market vehicles. You’ll notice that none of those categories is “passenger vehicles,” which leads me to believe that, no matter what these guys decide, we’re not getting the Focus, Fiesta or Fusion back.

But the pressure on these groups is going to be crazy. They are not only supposed to be in charge of creating new vehicles and bringing them to the market and achieving a specific level of profitability, but they’re meant to ensure consumers are “engaged” with Ford offerings, whatever that means. I like a good challenge in my work, but I don’t like no-win scenarios, and this sort of sounds like a game of automotive survivor, where the last remaining head of one of these divisions gets to be the next CEO and face scrutiny on investor calls for why their profit margins still suck.

And they really, really suck right now. Ford’s global profit margin is just 3% and in North America, it’s down to 7.4%. Which again points to why Moody’s has a pretty negative outlook on Ford’s future. Yet Ford has come out and said it plans to spend $740 million on revamping Michigan Central Station, the old train station in Corktown in Detroit that it recently bought. One really has to wonder where the company’s priorities are.

The overwhelming sense I get from this collection of stories is that Ford lacks a strategic direction and doesn’t really have any idea what customers want. They hear analysts say “well SUVs are the big hot thing right now” and decide “okay, we’re all in on SUVs!” without ever giving much thought to what that means for their overall product line or to what the customer journey might be. I said this after they first announced they were killing off cars, but by completely lacking an entry-level car, Ford is essentially telling first-time buyers or customers without much money to spend that they don’t care about them. And for a non-luxury car company, that’s a mistake, because it’s not like kids grow up with big posters of a Ford Edge on their walls as something to aspire to. Instead they’ll get a Hyundai, and stick with a Hyundai because it’s what they know and are comfortable with.

For so long, Ford looked like they had it figured out by avoiding bankruptcy during the big recession bailout and by hitting home runs with the Mustang, Focus and others. But the more news that comes out, the less it seems like they are going to be able to keep up with GM, who has repeatedly affirmed its commitment to sedans, or with any number of foreign manufacturers. Maybe this Enterprise Product Line Management group will figure it out and become what the company should have been all along - listeners to the consumers they serve rather than the shareholders.

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines for the Week of February 19th, 2018

#MeToo Finds its Way to Ford

This year has been incredible so far for the sheer volume of brave women coming forward to call out assault, harassment or inequality, not just across Hollywood but throughout other industries as well. This week the #MeToo movement found its way to Michigan where Raj Nair, executive vice president and North American president for Ford was booted after an anonymous complaint spurred an investigation which found he had committed some inappropriate behavior. Details are scarce, but Nair himself was quoted in Ford’s press release on the matter, saying that he regretted that there had been instances where he did not exhibit leadership behaviours consistent with Ford. Cars in general and the automotive industry is frequently regarded as a sort of old boys club, which has undoubtedly put upon many women undeserved treatment. While reactions to these sort of allegations have varied widely, from some politicians owning up and resigning to some flat-out denying accusations and calling women liars, it’s nice to see Ford taking the right path and committing to a higher standard of conduct than so many of our elected officials.

UberEats Customer Receives Food, Also Death

Photo by WJAX

Last week in Atlanta, an driver for UberEats, Uber’s food delivery service, shot and killed a customer after delivering his food. Ryan Thornton was shot multiple times by the driver, for whom police are still searching. Uber prohibits their drivers from carrying any kind of weapons, but without ever conducting inspections of its drivers, how could they possibly ever know if any driver was violating that policy? Realistically, this guy could’ve been working for any food delivery company, but since it’s Uber and they have a not-so-great record with safety already, it’s an easy target for criticism. I’m sure the company is cooperating with police because the last thing they need is for this to turn into a trend. We’ve had enough killing in this country lately.

Daimler Plays Ally, Fights Off Nazis

Few car companies have been around as long as Daimler, but the German company hasn’t always been on the right side of history. Mercedes-Benz, Daimler’s automotive brand, though named after an Austrian Jewish girl, Mercedes Jellinek, was Hitler’s favorite vehicle and used eastern European prisoners of war as forced labor during World War II. Perhaps this is why some Neo-Nazis have decided that Daimler is the perfect place to stage a right-wing uprising. At the company’s Untertuerkheim factory, Neo-Nazis have formed an alternative Union, Zentrum Automobil to try to spread propaganda and turn laborers to their cause. In the past 70 years or so, Daimler, as with the majority of the rest of Germany, has had some time to think on its role with the Nazis and wants nothing to do with the new right-wing movement and has stated its expectation that all employees will live tolerance in their daily work and act together with respect, openness, faith and fairness. All things Nazis aren’t historically known for being strong at.

When Safety Systems Bite Back

Generally speaking, cars should not be the headline in an article about a bicycle race, but that’s just what happened last week during the Abu Dhabi Tour. In bike races, there’s a lead car to ensure the path ahead is safe, and this car also sometimes provides a draft for lead cyclists to follow so they can eek out some more time at the head of the pack via reduced wind resistance. Well, the lead car in this race was a Mercedes-Benz E-Class equipped with the Pre-Safe Plus system, which applies the vehicle’s brakes when it senses an impending rear-end collision to stop the car hitting the vehicles in front of it. Unfortunately for cyclists, this system doesn’t distinguish between a potential vehicular impact and a cyclist trying to ride the bumper for some increased speed. The car thought the bikes were danger and hit the brakes without the driver’s input, causing cyclists to smash into the back of it, ultimately wiping out five riders, who you can bet have been in touch with their favorite attorneys regarding the matter.

Rolls-Royce Explores the Limits of Hyperbole

Speaking of cars you’d see in Abu Dhabi, Rolls Royce is coming out with a new one, and it’s an SUV called the Cullinan. We don’t have many details about it except the mention last week that it includes a rear Viewing Suite. Basically, what that means is, instead of sitting on the tailgate or rear bumper in your old Range Rover or Volvo, in your Cullinan, you will be treated to two rear-facing leather chairs separated by a small cocktail table, all of which deploy from the trunk at the touch of a button because manual labor is for peasants. From this “luxuriously comfortable viewing platform” as they call it, you are welcome to take in your children’s sporting events or the world’s most breathtaking vistas. Or, as it will probably most commonly be used, as a place to rest and enjoy some Grey Poupon while your driver removes the horse shit from your boots after your polo match.

Tesla Gets OTA Updates Right

Last week, I mentioned how a Chrysler over-the-air update to their UConnect system resulted in boot loop for a bunch of new car owners in the Northeast. Well, Tesla is looking into an OTA update of their own after a Model 3 owner’s recent crash experience. After hitting a parked car while going 60 MPH, the driver of a Model 3 wasn’t able to get his insurance information out of his glove box because it, along with almost every function of the car, is controlled through the big central touchscreen, which broke in the wreck. He tweeted about his experience and, ever the socially-engaged CEO, Elon Musk, responded that they would look into pushing out an update that automatically opens the glove box after the car comes to a stop following an accident. This is a neat feature, but one I can’t help but think could’ve been prevented by just having a simple manual release. So while it’s cool that such updates can fix problems instead of creating them, mark my words, there will be an anti-touchscreen revolution in automotive design. Consumers will demand it.

Formula 1 Debuts Don’t Go as Planned

The Formula 1 season is right around the corner and the teams have all been unveiling their cars this week to varying levels of interest. Mercedes probably made the most waves because they are once again expected to be the favorites after dominating so heavily last year. But in typical Australian style, Daniel Ricciardo came along and made some waves of his own by crashing on the car’s track debut. To his credit, it was pouring down rain, so conditions were poor and he was in an unfamiliar race car, so these things are bound to happen. Unfortunately, Red Bull Racing tweeted out a photo of the car with the caption “That new car feeling” just before the crash, which some might argue jinxed the car. I guess Ricciardo could use a little more feeling from it.

Smug Hybrid Owners to Pay Up in Maine

Gas taxes have been around just about as long as there has been gasoline and for good reason: the revenue allows states to invest in infrastructure improvements. And, in a country with a crumbling infrastructure, states sort of need all they can get to fix our roads and bridges. But with the adoption of hybrids, plug-ins, and electric vehicles, the gas taxes don’t get paid by everyone who uses the infrastructure, so several states have begun charging a supplemental registration fee to owners of hybrid or electric vehicle owners to bridge the funding gap. The latest such case is in Maine where electric vehicle owners would be charged $250 for the privilege of using a car that saves them money on gas and reduces their environmental impact. Hybrid owners will be charged $150 since they still have to fill up every once in a while. Proponents say this evens the playing field whereas environmentalists say this discourages transitioning to more environmentally-friendly vehicles, both of which are correct. But until people get on board with a mileage-based tax, Maine isn’t really left with any other options for reducing their infrastructure deficit. Just remember, hybrid owners, repairing a bent rim because of a pothole costs more than your annual registration fee.

Bad Traffic and Worse Drivers in SoCal

Capture from ABC 7 News

Traffic sucks, and traffic around LA really sucks. What sucks even more than being stuck in traffic is being stuck in the sand. While you wouldn’t think that’s a situation that happens all that often, consider Southern California, where last week traffic on the 10 freeway was so bad, drivers decided that it was a better idea to drive through a field of sand than to simply wait in the slow crawl on the highway to get to their destination. Turns out, driving in sand is tough and cars can get stuck like super easy! It even looks like the road to the sand trap had been barricaded and that drivers had moved the barricades to attempt the crossing. Fortunately a traffic chopper covering the back-up was able to capture some delightful footage of these ill-advised morons trying to frantically dig themselves out of the holes they spun for themselves while the traffic on the highway continues to move on slowly. At least for me, there are few things more satisfying than staying in the fast lane and passing someone who peeled out around me to try to find a faster path in the right lanes. Seeing some impatient jackhole trapped in sand? Yeah, that’s one of those more satisfying things.

Car Thefts Rise with Car Part Prices

Bad news for people who like to keep their cars; vehicle thefts rose by more than 4% in 2017 after rising 7.6% the prior year, and this follows along with the trend of car parts being more expensive. I know when I had to repair the front of my Mazda from a suicidal coyote, I couldn’t believe a non-Mazda repair shop could charge more than $2,500 for replacing front bumper plastic, a splash guard, and my windshield washer fluid reservoir. But as a handy chart from the National Insurance Crime Bureau indicates, car parts are outrageously expensive and even if criminals can’t sell your car whole because of the VIN number, they can sell off parts and make as much as 75% of the car’s total value.

Britton Simultaneously Reinforces and Breaks British Stereotypes

If there’s one thing British people like, it’s pubs. If there are two things they like, it’s pubs and unreliable roadsters. After all, they are great at both things. One Britton named Ben Coombs decided to mark the 70th anniversary of the TVR name by taking his Chimaera on a 23,500 mile trek from Svalbard, Norway in the arctic circle to Tierra del Fuego, Chile. All to visit pubs along the way. The trip was made all the more exciting by the fact that TVR’s reliability record is about as solid as a pub cheddar spread. Luckily for Coombs, the only major incident with the Chimaera was a clutch that needed replacing in Nicaragua. I’m not entirely sure how he got a TVR clutch in a part of the world where such cars were never sold, but I suppose that’s what Amazon is for.

Porsche’s New Showroom Gets High

Speaking of buying things, if you’re looking to buy a Porsche and just so happen to be in the French Alps, a considerable distance from one of the German company’s 700 worldwide dealers, I have great news! Porsche has just opened a new pop-up showroom 7,500 feet above sea level at the alpine resort in Meribel. There, you can look at the solitary Cayenne housed there and book test drives at other actual dealerships after you’ve finished your day of skiing with other rich people. The pop-up showroom will be there until April, when the snow melts and Porsche has to find another place where all the rich people hang out in not winter. Might I suggest Montpellier, Marseille, or Nice?

Honk if you Like Clicking

Since using cars as cars is boring, people have been figuring out different uses for them for decades. They’ve been used as houses, boats, soccer players and now, as a computer mouse. A couple of resourceful geeks converted a Sebring-Vanguard Citicar, a small, slow, wedge-of-cheese-shaped electric vehicle, into a working computer mouse since it sort of looks like the old mouse from the Apple Mac II SE. So how does using a car as a mouse work? Pretty poorly! Apparently Simone Giertz and William Osman, the two responsible for the conversion, were able to send an email and draw a very crude picture of the Citicar they were using. Not that there’s probably much danger of this happening, but it’s probably best to use your car as a car. Most drivers have enough difficulty just with that.

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

New Cars for the week of February 5th, 2018

McLaren MSO X

It seems like every month or so we’re getting a new vehicle from McLaren, which is definitely not a bad thing. They said that their Senna is able to beat the P1 around any track in the world, which makes sense, it should, it’s a faster and more expensive car. But this week they took the baby McLaren, the 570S and handed it over to McLaren Special Operations, the customization division for their road cars, who churned out the MSO X, which is essentially a road-going version of their 570S GT4 race car.

It has all the same aero, producing 220 pounds of down-force at speed and a fairly Spartan interior that has been rendered in bare carbon fiber and includes no cup holders, but there is a place behind your seat to stow your helmet, because you’ll feel the need to wear one even if you’re not on a track in this thing. They’re only making ten of them... and they’re gone. Totally sold out even before it was announced. And this is becoming a thing, which makes me think that these cars are only being announced so that, on the rare occasion one special edition is spotted in the wild, we know what it is and how rare it is so we can be even more jealous of the car’s owner than we would be if we just thought “hmm, that’s a racy-looking 570S."

 Rezvani Beast Alpha X Blackbird

Apparently coach-built versions of existing cars are a thing this week because we also have the ridiculously named Rezvani Beast Alpha X Blackbird. The last time we heard of Rezvani was when they took a Jeep Wrangler and made it into a tank-inspired off-roader and tacked a shit ton of zeroes onto the end of its price. Well, this time they’ve done essentially the same thing to a Lotus Elise, but used the Lockheed Martin SR-71 Blackbird as their inspiration. They didn’t just leave the changes aesthetic though. This thing pumps out 700 horsepower and will hit 60 in 2.9 seconds while maintaining the agile nature of the Elise and the fun wind-in-your-expensive-hairpiece feeling of a Targa top. What’s most ridiculous about this car isn’t the $225,000 base price, it’s the fact that Rezvani managed to squeeze 700 horsepower from a 2.5 liter four cylinder. I wouldn’t want to be the head gaskets on one of these things. But I dig it. Way better than their Jeep thing. I’d take one in a heartbeat.

Fisker Latigo

On the other end of the spectrum is the BMW M6-based Fisker Latigo, which is, to be blunt, just very, very ugly. Good thing there’s only one of them. Fisker really knows how to design a shit looking car with a nasty mustache-looking grille. 

 

Mercedes Sprinter

Like coach-built versions of other cars, it was also a really great week for new cars if you like vans. Mercedes unveiled their all-new third generation Sprinter, which you are free to mock right up to the point where you ride in one and think, “Wow, I’ve never been in an airport shuttle this nice.” Apparently the new Sprinters can do way more than ferry people around to Missouri wineries. The new version is more adaptable than ever and can be had in 1,700 different variants for different purposes or needs. These things are way more common to see in Europe, but Mercedes, and me, are hoping these catch on stateside. It’s a pretty excellent van for pretty much every need, plus it’s plush and comfy.

Ford Transit Connect

Also this week we got a new version of the Ford Transit Connect, which is sort of like a smaller, slightly less capable, less plush and comfy but still decently plush and comfy Mercedes Sprinter. Outside it’s been styled to look like a Ford Escape. Inside it’s been styled to look like a cargo van with seats, but those seats apparently now have more cushioning. This may not be the most exciting new vehicle segment ever and honestly, we could cover the performance specs but they don’t really matter. Just know there’s a new option you can rent instead of a minivan that will do the job just as well.

Nuro

A couple of former engineers from Google’s self-driving company Waymo got together and formed a new company called Nuro, which has developed an innovative new delivery vehicle. It is completely driverless and passengerless and instead of space for people, the vehicle features compartments that can be customized to hold any number of kinds of items, from parcel lockers to shopping bags to warming ovens or dry cleaning clothing racks. These compartments sit above the batteries and drivetrain of the vehicles, but we don’t have any details on performance or range. These are apparently designed for either fully-autonomous operation or remote operation in case it runs into trouble and needs human help. The company has approval from California to test on public roads and it hopes to have a limited number of prototypes in service by the end of the year, but this looks like it could be a great option for companies looking to replace delivery drivers. 

Nissan 370Zki

You guys remember 2009? The financial markets were melting down and jobs were scarce. Pay sucked (and it still does) but Obama was just beginning his first term as president and the country was filled with hope for change, and Nissan was there with the change where we needed it most; sports cars. In 2009, they introduced the 370Z to replace the 7 year-old 350Z. Now, almost ten years later, here we are with the same 370Z and no replacement on the horizon. According to Nissan’s chief planning officer Phillippe Klein, they are working on it but don’t know what direction to take it. The market for small, inexpensive sports cars is apparently down and Nissan is facing stiff competition from the best Mustang and Camaro ever made. With SUVs and crossovers all the rage currently, do they pull a Mitsubishi, spit in the eyes of their enthusiasts and make the Z a crossover like the Eclipse has become? Or do they try to weave in a bit of future proofing and make it a hybrid or electric vehicle?

While we wait on a more permanent answer to the Z’s future, Nissan has decided what the Z’s present needs is more snowmobile. So they took a convertible Nissan 370Z, lopped off all four wheels, fitted some skis up front and put modified tank treads in the back, to make the 370Zki. The rest of the car is virtually unchanged, but if you think a rear-wheel drive car can’t handle well in the snow, Nissan says, "Are you guys silly? I’m still gonna send it."

Authored by
Devlin Riggs

Headlines & New Cars for the week of January 29th, 2018

PSA Moves into ATL

Peugeot Citroen Group or PSA, as you’ll recall, recently bought Opel and Vauxhall from General Motors and it’s looking like that’s not the only way the French are coming after America. That’s because this week PSA group announced that their new North American headquarters would be based in Atlanta. Mercedes-Benz and Porsche have also opened headquarters in the Atlanta area, so it’s starting to become something of an automotive hub outside Detroit. As an America, which I assume most of you are, you’ll probably know that Peugeots and Citroens aren’t sold in America and haven’t been for the better part of 30 years. Well, that’s about to change, as we’ve heard that all future PSA models will be designed to comply with American safety standards. According to CEO Carlos Tavares, they’ll start selling their cars here in 2026, which is exciting, because there are a lot of really neat French cars that could only make the roads around here look better. Whether or not they make enough compact crossovers to satisfy the American market is a different thing though. 

Volvo’s Very Green Factory

As we’ve covered before, all next generation Volvos will be hybrids or electrics of some sort, but they’re probably going to be using some sort of gasoline engines for some time more. But to demonstrate how deep their commitment is to environmental responsibility, Volvo’s factory in Skövde, Sweden, is now entirely carbon neutral. They accomplished this through biomass and waste incineration to produce heat for the factory, which, way up there near the arctic circle, they definitely need, and by sourcing all of their power from renewable sources. This is something they intend to reproduce across all their factories by 2025. BMW, in typical BMW fashion, wants to get to the same destination faster and is aiming for carbon neutral status at all factories by 2020. It’s nice to see both how manufacturers are embracing environmental friendliness and to see that BMW can turn literally anything into a race.

Tesla Bringing the Fire to the Firetrucks

Photo by Culver City Firefighters

Tesla was back in the news this week when a Model S operating in semi-autonomous mode smashed into the back of a parked firetruck on the 405 highway in Los Angeles. The firetruck was blocking traffic to help clean up a prior accident and luckily nobody was injured, but the images make it look like the Tesla was going pretty damn fast at the time of the collision. When reached for a comment, Tesla representatives pulled out their old standby that autopilot was only supposed to be used by a fully attentive driver, which everyone immediately knows is bullshit because why would you name it autopilot if it wasn’t meant to take over for the driver? Clearly the driver wasn’t paying attention because it’s generally pretty hard to miss firetrucks with their big red bodies and flashing blue and red lights, especially in sunny, clear LA. What this really underscores is not the carelessness of drivers trusting their cars too much, but rather how far we have to go before autonomous driving is ready for our roads. Tesla plays it fast and loose in this regard, saying that they’re the closest company to a level 5 autonomous vehicle, and Chevy unveiled its completely driverless Bolt last week, but a study by AAA this week revealed that 63% of drivers actively fear autonomous cars joining our roads. Granted, that’s down from 78% last year, and somehow 51% of people still want some autonomous features in their cars. But stories like this keep cropping up and that 63% may start to creep back up again. 

Lexus’ Loserface

Jeff Bracken, who is Vice President and General Manager of Lexus Group, sat down with CarBuzz this past week and spoke very candidly about the famous, or infamous, spindle grill that adorns all modern Lexuses. He said the grill was an attempt to revive the Lexus brand from its formerly boring identity after Lexus was outsold by Mercedes and BMW in 2011. Average buyer age was inching up past 60 and the company needed to attract younger buyers to stay relevant, so they shook things up and slapped on a face that looks like an angry insect mated with an alien that had its face stretched back by an industrial leaf blower. I won’t ever knock a company for trying to do something different because trying to appeal to everyone means you’re going to wind up with a bland product that lacks identity and appeal. Basically, a Subaru. Functionally good but completely uninteresting. But in doing so, you polarize your audience, and what Lexus has done is taken its brand from boring to ugly, and I don’t know about you, but I’d rather drive a boring looking IS-F with a 400 horsepower V8 that nobody expects because it’s a sleepy sedan, than a hideous looking ES350 that goes okay but looks like it burns when exposed to sunlight and will be waiting underneath your bed when you go to sleep at night.

This Week in Shade Throwing

While Lexus’ VP sort of took a dump on his own brand’s styling, other auto executives took this week to throw some shade on their competitors. Starting with Aston Martin CEO Andy Palmer, he spoke to Autocar on the difficulty of working with electric vehicle manufacturers and vendors and highlighted Dyson in particular, saying “I wish him the best of luck but on the numbers that have been reported, I know you won’t do it for that money, and you won’t do it in that timescale. At least, I know that I couldn’t.” Of course he’s not saying that Dyson can’t do it, and highlights the fact that he couldn’t, but still definitely implying that they don’t know what they’re into. He mentioned other EV tech companies, saying “We’ve had discussions with about 10 of them. Every single one has underestimated the difficulty of engineering a car to a budget and to an aggressive timescale. Some of them will get there, but always over budget and late.” 

Speaking of companies that sound an awful lot like Tesla, Bob Lutz, former GM executive, came out swinging this week, first bending over backwards to compliment the company on their incredible achievements in creating an attractive, fast electric car, but then he went off the rails a little bit. After suggesting that collectors should start snapping up Model Ss, he said “Twenty-five years from now, [the Model S] will be remembered as the first really good-looking, fast electric car. People will say "Too bad they went broke.’” Bob is not known for pulling punches, but he is known for reviving General Motors, so he absolutely knows the automotive industry, which should be fairly alarming for Elon Musk and Tesla. They, however, know how to run technology companies, and as the automotive market increasingly becomes the technology market, maybe they’ll figure it out or maybe Bob will be totally right.

Faraday Future Resembles the Presidency

In other electric vehicle startup news, Faraday Future lost their head of human resources this week, which wouldn’t have been much of a story if they hadn’t made it one. For one, the departing Crystal Peterson had been with the company for three years, which is ages in startup years, and her departure was greeted with an internal communication (which was, of course, leaked to the press) indicating a new no-tolerance policy for negativity or disloyalty. “We will not allow the organization to be submarined from within” said the memo. Oh, I think we’re well past, that, guys.

Be Nice to Robot Pizza Man

Last summer, I covered a story detailing the miserable lives led by some Ford engineers who had to babysit autonomous pizza delivery cars shipping out piping hot Domino’s to residents of Ann Arbor, Michigan. Well, occasional co-host and frequent contributor to the show Mike LaBozzetta shared with me a story that wrapped up some of their findings from the study, which did end up being pretty interesting, but still not something I’m sure was a good use of their master’s degrees. They learned that people were paranoid and didn’t want to enter the last four digits of their credit card to receive their pizza, but they were just fine entering their phone number. They learned that people were courteous and would thank the autonomous car for bringing them their pies. They learned that people were dumb and would come outside without shoes on and not want to step into the street where there may be broken glass. All of this evaluation of the user experience will help inform and refine future delivery processes for both Domino’s and Ford, which will make things easier for people as this sort of technology catches on. What I think we’ll start seeing is, rather than tailoring existing cars to fit the specific types of tasks an autonomous vehicle performs, I think we’ll probably see a tailoring of the vehicle design, where maybe there’s an animated figure that interacts with the user to both establish a personal connection and engender trust, so they can receive the credit card information and say “you’re welcome” when the vehicle gets thanked or “I’m sorry, you really should be wearing shoes” when the car runs over your bare feet. 

NYC to Try Charging for Congestion

Despite conjuring images of black lungs, congestion in cities is quite a different thing and is definitely a problem in many cities worldwide. While we have toll roads and bridges here in America, we haven’t really seen any congestion charges levied in any cities yet. But that could change soon in New York because a proposal from the governor’s panel recommends establishing a $11.52 charge for drivers accessing certain parts of the city. This is intended to discourage drivers going to areas to try to reduce congestion, thus the name. Scheduled to go into effect in 2020 if approved, the charges are projected to raise $810 million without factoring in fees for taxis or Uber or Lyft drivers, much of which would get reinvested into the city’s subway system, which is barely functioning. Of course, instead of driving, people will probably try to take the subway to get to the parts of the city now covered by the congestion charge, in which case they’ll be using the already-horrible system and not paying the fee to improve it. So New York definitely has it all figured out.

Once Again, LA’s in it for the Looks

Photo by Los Angeles Times

On the other coast, Los Angeles has been called out for its highly publicized purchase of all-electric BMW i3 patrol cars. A CBS investigation found that, after having the city spend more than $10 million on the cars, they mostly sit around unused in a parking garage. The whole report was pretty damning, finding the cars had very few miles and that the “administrative purposes” the cops were supposed to be using these for turned out to be manicures and not much else. They’re leasing the vehicles from BMW, getting a hundred of them every couple of years and BMW must be thrilled to be getting such low mileage cars back off lease to sell on to manicurists across the southland. Get your shit together, LA.

Bentley Takes on the Mountain

Speaking of doing things just for looks, Bentley has announced that they will be entering their new Bentayga SUV in the annual Pike’s Peak International Hill Climb this year. Now, I get on automakers’ cases for testing their cars on the Nurburgring because, come on, who really cares? Even most auto enthusiasts don’t get to drive on the Nurburgring. But taking a 5,340lb SUV on a grueling hill climb normally reserved for purpose-built race cars takes idiocy to an entirely new level. Maybe they just think they aren’t selling enough cars in Colorado, or maybe they thought Richard Hammond got some great press when he crashed his Rimac on a hill climb in Switzerland that they thought they could replicate it? Dunno. It’s dumb. 

Bullitt Bonus to Help Boys

After announcing the new Bullitt Mustang last week, Ford auctioned off the first to roll off the production line and it fetched $300,000 at the Barrett-Jackson auction. Unlike most auction sales, where buyers pay way over the value of a car to benefit nothing but their own ego, the money will actually go to Boys Republic, a school for troubled young men in California. A fun fact here is that Steve McQueen, famous actor and race driver, who drove a Mustang in the movie Bullitt for which the special model got its name, he actually attended Boys Republic when he was a kid. So kudos to Ford for doing something nice and making that neat connection there. I’m sure they’ll make up some of that money from suing John Cena for selling his GT.

Ford’s Self-Serving Study

But suing people and giving back to charity aren’t all Ford has been up to. This week they released the findings of a survey they conducted that found that, wouldn’t you just know it, driving a sports car makes ya feel good! Apparently the study focused on the vaguely-termed “Buzz moments” and what triggers them by testing people’s reactions to watching Game of Thrones, kissing their partner, dancing and driving a Focus RS. Unsurprisingly, they found that driving the Focus RS gave participants more buzz moments than all the other testing situations. Unfortunately, it could also give them carbon monoxide poisoning because Ford also announced a service advisory for more than 27,000 Focus RS models because of bad head gaskets, which has apparently been a known issue that is only now being confirmed. So if you’re driving a Focus RS and you’re feeling light-headed, you could be having one of those great buzz moments, or your brain could be starved for oxygen and you need to seek medical treatment.

Owl’s Involuntary Ride Ends Surprisingly Well

Photo by Petersburg Animal Care and Control

A couple of weeks ago, I covered a story about a bobcat getting stuck in a vehicle’s grill after being hit and being taken for a 50-mile ride. Well folks, it’s happened again, but this time to a great horned owl! After being hit by an SUV, the owl became lodged in the grill of the car for 160 miles before the drivers finally decided to stop and see what that thing was he hit a few states back. Fortunately, the poor owl will be okay apart from a few busted blood vessels in his eye and some tussled feathers, but people. Come on. If you hit something, (and you would feel it if you hit one of the largest owls in the world) pull over and check it out! 

Would you Trust 3D Printed Brakes? 

3D printing has come a long way in recent years, going from high-end manufacturing to consumer-friendly applications. Chances are you know someone who owns a 3D printer, but Bugatti is going a step beyond creating neat figurines, puzzles or wedding toppers. They’re working with a German company to develop 3D printed brake calipers - the things that squeeze the brake pads onto the brake rotors to actually cause your car to stop moving. Typically, brake calipers are cast aluminum or steel or iron because it’s reliable, sturdy and doesn’t flex, ensuring you get even braking which, as you can imagine, is fairly important. But cast metal is heavy and when you’re talking about super cars, every little gram of weight reduction helps improve performance. But the more weight you take out of brake calipers, the more likely they are to flex, which reduces braking performance. So by 3D printing these calipers, Bugatti is hoping to get the best of both worlds; light as a feather and stiff as a board. Kind of like that stupid game dumb kids play when they want to pretend their friends are dead.

Lotus Leader Leading Lovely Life

Photo by Warren Allott for the Telegraph

Jean-Marc Gales is the CEO of Lotus and someone I think would be really fun to grab a beer with. How can I tell? No, it’s not the french name, it’s the fact that he was pulled over for doing 102 miles per hour in a 70 mile per hour zone last year and tried to get out of the ticket by saying that it was important that he test the cars himself. Of course it didn’t work and he was fined £666 for his trouble and banned from driving for 30 days. In the worst case scenario, he could’ve been banned for six months, so he did get off light. And I know what some people will say “oh, he was driving dangerously.” Well there’s a difference between driving fast and driving dangerously, and you can hit those sorts of high speeds very quickly when nobody is around so it isn’t necessarily the case that he was endangering anyone. At the same time, dude, you’re a CEO of a major British car company. Your engineers take these cars to the countless tracks you have in England to test them. Just tag along sometime and test them there. It’ll be so much better and you won’t get banned! Still, Jean-Marc, you’re my kind of idiot. 

It’s the Dream of the (Honda) 90s in Forever 21

Like it or not, mom jeans are back in style and so is plaid flannel, holes in denim and a bunch of other dumb stuff we used to wear in the 90s. For me, this isn’t a real problem because my wardrobe never really evolved beyond that, but in case yours did and you’re aching to get back with that vintage vibe, and you also happen to be a huge fan of Honda Motorsports, well you should hit up Forever 21. The disposable clothing company announced this week that they are coming out with an outrageously extreme lineup of Honda-themed apparel that screams 90s and, as obnoxious as most trendy things are, I kind of love it? But at the same time I don’t. Because I would love it if it were one of those “look how crazy and silly this is, I’m going to wear it because I don’t care what people think and I think it’s radical,” but I fear it’s actually a “this is so extra because it looks like what my stepbrother used to wear when he would like come back from street racing with his friends. Oh my god, remember Bryan? I had such a huge crush on Bryan! Anyway, what’s Honda 500?”

High Times & Dank Withdrawals

If there is one business that has made a name for itself by catering to stoners and drunks, it’s Taco Bell. The home and indeed birthplace of "fourthmeal" knows its core customers, what they want and when they want it. The problem for their customers is, Taco Bell isn’t everywhere, which leads to problems like we saw this week in Spring Hill, Florida. There, a man desperately jonesing for a burrito tried to order one from a drive through lane at a Bank of America. Unfortunately for this gentleman, they were fresh out, so he passed out behind the wheel in his car, blocking a lane. After the manager tried pounding on the car to wake him up, he repeated his request and, when it couldn’t be satisfied, drove off in a huff. Fortunately he only made it as far as the parking lot, where he parked to pass out again. Cops determined he was high on Oxycodone and Xanax, which he was actually prescribed, and charged him with a DUI. So not only did the poor guy not get his burrito, he received prison con queso. Where queso is a hefty fine.

New Cars

LFP Hellion

Every once in a while, something good comes out of Ohio. My wife is one example, but it’s been more than 30 years, so they’re about due. In comes Lebanon Ford, a dealership in Ohio that just loves mustangs, but thinks that the measly 420 horsepower V8 is just pathetic. To resolve this perceived issue, they’re twin turbocharging the V8 and selling the revised model as the LFP Hellion. The crazy thing is, this thing starts at 600 to 700 horsepower at 7 PSI, but the turbos can be tuned to run at 30 PSI, meaning the car pumps out an incredible and entirely unusable 1,200 horsepower. And all of this starts at just $52,000. Of course, the current Mustang is one of the best looking in the company’s history, and now with Lebanon Ford’s help, they are also the most ridiculously powerful. In terms of bang for the buck, this has to be one of the best. Well done, Ohio. 

Casil Motors SP-110 Edonis Fenice

Even the relative car noobs will probably at least know of Bugatti from their outrageous Veyron (one of which I actually saw on the highway last weekend) and, more recently, the Chiron, but those are not the only two relatively modern super cars the company has made. The sort of analog black sheep of the Bugatti family is the EB110, which was last produced 26 years ago, but still looks incredible. Well a company that specializes in repairing those 110s apparently purchased a bunch of carbon fibre monocoque chassis for the 110 and are planning on making their own vehicle with ten of them. In place of the EB110’s surprisingly reasonable 550 horsepower quad-turbo 3.5 litre V-12, they’re porting it to 3.8 litres and twin turbocharging it to 720 horsepower, which will deliver 60 miles per hour in 3.4 seconds on your way to a claimed top speed of 220. The vehicle, which has a very sad look about it could be sad because of its name. It’s called the Casil Motors SP-110 Edonis Fenice, which sounds like a great name you give to a cat that’s an asshole so you can put him down in a way that he knows he’s being put down, but can’t do anything about. But for a car? That’s kind of a shame.